Dear Heavenly Father,

What is it that makes me want to complain today? This morning I could go out with Josh Thomspon and Abe. It was a pure fun. As brothers we were looking for an authentic Bagel Place since New York is famous for its bagels. I would have never been able to experience that if there was breakfast or if we had a morning program. I am thankful for that time that I had with them

Father, I report that part of me always thinks selfishly. This morning I thought "Well, I paid 25 dollars a day and I deserve at least three meals a day." Let me remind myself that everything happens for a reason. You have a process of restoration planned for each of us. I need to stop thinking like the world owes me something. This is a wrong type of thinking. Father I have received so much of your blessing. I want to say sorry for complaining, it does not make me feel good, but makes me negative, and see from my own view point. I want to change that. I report to you that I have this type of fallen nature, but I am your son and I want to grow and overcome and rid myself of this fallen nature. Father, please stand by my side as I take responsibility.

I am so grateful that we could go see our True Father, Mother, and family. I am grateful that I could see my mom. I could stand there at East Garden and feel the joy of my loving my mom. I love my mom, and my family. Father, here at this workshop I am learning how to expand my capacity to love. When I go home I only have a short period of time before I go to Panama. During that time I want to give as much as I can. Father, I want to bring this culture of heart to the Bulow blessed central family. When I go to Panama I want to resemble and embody you. Join me as a travel.

I am tired right now but I can overcome. Not with my own inspiration, but from You. Let me believe that it is not just me, that I am not alone. (People are giving testimonies right now) God is working in my life. I need to be proud. I am scared to testify, my heart panics when I think of going up. This is a chance and a sign that I have to go against my fear and challenge myself. Instantly God is already showing me what to do in order to come closer to him and breakthrough. GOD can work instantly like this!!

OK!! I just went up and gave a short testimony, and I didn't know what to say but I want to offer it to Heaven. I trust the motivation and pureness of my heart. What else can I do to become closer to your heart heavenly Father? I have spiritual senses that can communicate with you, let me breakdown the barrier between my mind and body. I long to end all the contradiction in my life. Today is a perfect day for that. Already I am tired, already I have started to get negative, already I started to complain, but I am God's true child. I can claim a victory over these things by overcoming with true love. The coffee will not overcome these things for me! Only the true love of God will overcome. True Father, is the messiah of all mankind! This morning, Father affirmed that the time is NOW. NOW IS THE TIME!! Every moment we can experience You. Right NOW I can feel You, Father. God, YOU gave birth to me because I am in your complete image and give you the most joy. First we need to love ourselves to love others. I should never put myself down! My own parents gave birth to me and I know I can give them the more joy than anything else they have created. I can lead the example for Matthew and Hana to do the same. We can set the standard of true love for BCF. How amazing is this!? When I want to have the most joy in my life I will not create a computer program, a building, or a business, but I will have kids. I will love those kids no matter what! But, first I need to expand the capacity of my heart. Even if my kids fall away from me and kill their brother, can I still love them?!

If my kids kill my wife, can I still love them? GOD WILL always love his kids. If my own kids kill me? CAN I LOVE THEM? Today people are killing GOD, but God still loves them. True FATHER still loves them!

He has claimed the victory of even loving SATAN. True Father went witnessing and met SATAN. He was desperate and subjugated Satan with super true love. What if I meet Satan today in Bryant Park? Can I claim a victory by giving the absolute love of a true son of GOD? This is my attainable goal today. I will claim the victory today through super true love. This is what it means to be perfected, to be able to see God everywhere, goodness and purpose in everything. Absolute love is unchanging in any situation, environment or circumstance. I will love people with all my heart as part of my family. Father has loved people even more than his own family! Father has loved Cain more than able! So today I need to overcome and be desperate to grow. This is the process of restoration. I want to come out of heartistic ignorance. My heart has been ignorant of its capacity to love, to the heart of my father. I report my dreams to you Father. I am not nervous that you will ridicule me, or think that I am weird. Satan has not place to hide in me. I am not ashamed because I am your true child. I come to you naked father, with my sin, and fallen nature exposed. As I humbly stand before you I am unashamed. I am not proud of my sins, but I take responsibility for them! I will not hide from you. I invite you to shine upon my whole being. I want to embrace you in all aspects of my life. I am John a second generation of your true family.

We have come such a long way together. Satan cannot say that I want to be like him. I WANT TO RESEMBLE YOU. Thank You. Thank you for bringing me this far! I will take the opportunities that you give me to do whatever is hardest for me to do. This external realm that we live in is a resultant reality. SO I will bring the internal victory. You are with me. How can I deny your presence? Let me, as a whole object partner of your love trust myself more. I want to breakthrough so Akiko won't have to go out. True Parents have already broken through so it is possible. Our True Parents dream for us to be greater than him. I can inspire the spirit world to work. Now, I need to internally give and give. Let your blessings be upon all the leaders here Father.

In my name John, a true son of the Bulow blessed central Family.

Amen, Amen, Amen.

My internal goal was to Claim the victory through super true love. I did not want to have any external motivation connected to bringing people back to the lecture today.

When we started I was questioning why I was hitting my limitation today. I had already started to complain, be negative and I was already tired. But I could catch it and change it, before we went out. It was like God giving me the opportunity to already hit my limitation and be able to go witness on a foundation of a victory. I was so energized to tell everyone about Father. I could have a desperate heart to save everyone.

We approached one guy and he didn't want to talk about anything personal such as his age, etc, but only about world issues. He was a very consciences person named Thai. He agreed with everything that we would say but then would reply almost totally off the topic. Despite this, we were able to keep the focus. As we witnessed to Thai, we were saying so many good things but while Chris was talking I was thinking about what does God feel? Why are these world issues so important to God? What is the connection to the providence? What does it mean to God? For example, as we are talking about teen pregnancy I would ask myself, "Why is teen pregnancy hurt God so much?" Then I would tell him plainly that it was because of the premature misuse of Adam and Eve's sexual organ for selfish reasons in the Garden of Eden. I repent that I did not say more clearly that as a result, we all have a blood tie to Satan, which can only cut off by a messiah.

As the conversation went on I was able to continually ask myself "What is my purpose for talking to this guy?" One reason is to reveal God's heart! To open his eyes to God's heart. What does he need to hear for this to happen? What does God want to tell him? How can I express God's love for him? What have we been talking about, what did TF say this morning!?

I had to make sure that we were not loosing hope in him? My interest, investment, and love had to be absolute and consistent. I was even challenged as people oddly caught my attention in the background. Am I as interested in Thai as Akiko has been to me when we share?

We explained how the heart of a parent is the love with greatest capacity. How God's heart is so deep. Our ability to love has the potential to be the same as God's. If I had the same level of heart that God had, imagine, when I had kids, God/I would still love my son even if he killed my other son. Even if god killed me, and my wife, I would still love him. This is God's incredible love. We shared all of this with conviction with Thai.

We explained to him the importance of a couple who can come to this earth as a model of True Parents and establish a True Family. The True family is as a model for the Kingdom of Heaven on earth which can multiply to the society, nation, and world. The Kingdom on Heaven is possible! Then I showed him the picture of True Parents and True Family. I wish I was more serious I could have said "These are your True Parents! They are everyone's True Parents" I know I could have said something more to inspire him.

I had made the determination that I would not stop talking until the person wanted to continue the conversation or to come to the lecture, so I didn't want to ask him. However, God worked through Chris asking him to join us at 6 o'clock for a lecture. Then Thai plainly said that "He doesn't want to come. I will be honest! I don't want to come"

When he was done I actually complimented him on his smile. Throughout the conversation I had noticed we were able to make him smile a few times and when he did his whole face lit up. Instantly, he then opened a Seventeen magazine (teen girl magazine) and began flipping through all the pages. He told me how he each girl made him smile. He seriously thought that these girls were talking to him, that they were secretly in love with him. (It was actually very weird)

I know that God was with me because even in this situation I could love him. I pointed out that "Yes, each of these girls are so beautiful. Even without the make-up, and tight clothes, they are so beautiful. They are my sisters and I don't need them to dress up to make me smile. They can be so much happier if we consider them our sisters. They will not have to be fake to gain attention any longer" I feel like this could touch his heart.

At that moment I dropped my notebook and a picture of Kerin (Mike Stewart and Liz Bonini's cute baby boy) slightly slipped out. This was from GOD. I showed Thai this picture I said "Look at this picture? This picture makes you smile! Imagine your child here! How much more you would be smiling. What if you could even hold your child as they smiled up at you! You would be laughing and crying at the same time" I am sorry Father that I did not emphasize that this type of true love is for eternity! I should have pushed that because of our TP's this is possible. I did go on to explain that "This is actually how god looks at you. It is a joy so incredible of constant uncontrollable emotions" Looking back I didn't tell him that God is suffering though because he cannot fully share his love with us.

After I was done his mindset changed and said "So you guys really want me to come tonight?"

We were in a clear spiritual battle and I feel like we could bring victory on many different levels. At the end it was like Satan's final blow, trying to prove that we could not love him. That God could not love his lost son. Only through Chris and I was God's true love able to embrace and subjugate that situation.

Today I could feel that my prayers where answered and I could experience a witnessing "miracle". I could take the foundation and victory from fundraising to the next level and experience a part of God's heart that I was not able to understand before. Witnessing has made my faith so much more concrete.

Everyone that shared in our group actually also had amazing testimonies.

God really wants me and everyone to grow so much. Thank You, Father for putting me on Kazuki Hyungs team. I can make a condition of calling him hyung. He is my elder brother who is helping me to grow. Father I want to claim the victory of my unity with him. I have been able to so clearly see the importance of seeing everyone as my family. There is a reason for everything. There is good in everything! Father thank you for letting me have this perspective. I am so thankful. God is working through everyone here. All the central figures love us, and that is such a condition for God to flow through them and take action.

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