The Words of the Tsubata Family
Testimony of Matching
Kate Tsubata (Lan's mother)
January 31, 2003
I guess every parent has a dream of seeing their precious child united in marriage to a person of the same heart and spirit. I know that ever since Lan was born, I dreamed of a wonderful Blessing for her. But since she told Kazuo and me a year ago that she would like us to start looking for a match for her, I realized that it is indeed a very difficult thing. In fact, I could say that it is impossible…unless, of course, God is involved.
I had only three conditions for a candidate: absolute purity, having parents who love each other, and a hardworking character. It was my experience that these are the best preparations for marital success. I thought these would be fairly simple to fulfill, and that it would merely be a matter of weighing different candidates. We looked for a long time, but it was not so easy. We came close with one person, but he did not feel ready. So, we went to Jim’s website, and saw one young man who seemed to have a good family, good values and good work ethic: Yong-Sung Leal.
Sure that he must already be matched, I emailed his father, Bento, whom I knew from a distance for many years. He responded and we began sharing by email. What hit me from the beginning was that in every single email, Bento would say something that echoed something deep in my own experience with God. I couldn’t get his words out of my head for days after. It was obvious how much Bento and Kimiko love each other, and how much they love their children. It was also obvious that their son, Yong-Sung, was unusually gifted and hardworking. He has been running for 7 years, and won as a state champion in his sophomore year of high school. Also, he has been very serious about his purity, resisting invitations of girls to go to dances, etc.
We were able to combine a business trip with a visit to see them and see my sisters who live in their area. From the minute we met the family, we felt like we were at home. Their family had such deep love for each other. Yong-Sung and his sisters, Yu-Mee and Jin-Mee were proud of each other and very relaxed and welcoming to Lan and Mie. We had such a good feeling about them.
Yong-Sung himself is such a shining and loving young man. He is so proud of his parents (his Appa and Omma) and his beautiful sisters. Also, despite the walls of trophies and articles about him, he is extremely humble. But what really moved my heart was that he "saw" Lan. He immediately saw her character and her heart, and he noticed how she related to others. When Kimiko asked what he thought of Lan, he told her "Omma, she has such a warm heart." Very few young men would have noticed or cared about such a thing.
We parents and siblings all felt the same; that this was a God-given match. After praying, Bento and Kimiko and I spoke to Lan and Yong-Sung about our feeling. We suggested they talk about it to see if they agreed. Even before they talked, however, both of them accepted. While Lan and Mie hugged and cried in one room, Yong-Sung got a bit misty in another room. When Bento dropped them off for their walk, they went about 20 feet, then stopped to pray together. The skies had been grey and overcast all day, but as they were walking, the sun broke out from behind the clouds, and shone on them, Yong-Sung’s coach of many years happened to be out biking there, and a special lady came and sat with them and said "I can’t think of any place I would rather be right now." They talked for over an hour, and when we came to pick them up, we all went for a walk. This was so beautiful. Yong-Sung walked with me and Lan walked with Bento, and the sisters all walked together. We were all giving testimony to each other about Lan or about Yong-Sung. We all felt so much in love, with them, and with each other. It was an amazing experience of goodness multiplying and igniting love all over the place.
All of this took place on our second daughter, Mie’s, birthday, so we had a birthday party for her that evening, and it was as if we were home. When someone said to Mie "Oh! This is all happening on your birthday!" Mie replied "Yes. Good present!" Yong-Sung and his family embraced Mie the same as Lan, and we just felt totally like one family.
I never knew what kind of joy would happen when we matched our children. I sort of thought it would be like "Oh, that’s nice, now my child has someone to love and be loved by." I never knew that it would be a huge love explosion between the families. I never knew I would gain not a son-in-law, but a son, and new daughters from his sisters. I never knew how extremely grateful I would feel towards these beautiful parents who raised up such a wonderful son and daughters. I realized that all the things that we invested—the moments of teaching the Principle, teaching purity, investing heart—that all these things bear such incredible fruit at the moment of finding the true spouse.
I know that many families don’t know what kind of joy is possible, and so they don’t really feel passionate about purity and matching and blessing. Now I know why God created the commandment, and why he has steadfastly worked to recreate the conditions of the true family and true lineage in the world, despite all setbacks. Until now, most marriages have been fraught with family rejection, pain and resistance. All of the world’s evils have started and impacted upon family relationships. It is truly because the true family love is the goal of God that the evil side attacks it so directly. If it were not precious, evil wouldn’t care. Because most of us have never tasted that true love experience in our own families of origin, we didn’t know what would await us as we gained the victory in our Blessings. Once we have tasted that unending, totally embracing true love, we can’t ever be even slightly tempted by the false, pathetic imitation love that selfish hearts dwell in.
I see how many small conditions were made along the way, by Lan, by Yong-Sung, by the families, all to uphold the original ideal of God’s principle. It’s a daily battle. It’s not an easy road. On every side, there are millions of distractions. It takes constant effort and vigilance—even over one’s thoughts—to stay focused on God’s truth and love.
Now I see this precious couple who love their parents, love their brothers and sisters, love their BC friends, and love the world…receiving that extra-special, exclusive love that they will only share with each other, for all time. I can see how much joy they are bringing to each other. It’s like the purity that they kept all this time has made their love so powerful and clear that they just can pour it out, freely.
I want every blessed couple to feel the joy that we are feeling right now. I want every blessed child to feel that unconditional love from someone of the same spiritual and emotional quality as themselves. This is such a sweet and overflowing love; if we only know that it is there, waiting to be tasted by us unendingly, we can go through any preparation or sacrifice. Now, we just want to send our joy out to the world.
Thank you, everyone, who made this possible.
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