The Words of the Tobkin Family

Testimony to the Process of Matching our Daughter Yusun

Jutta Tobkin
February 11, 2004

Gary and Friederun and Paul and Jutta with Kirstin, Garrun, Yusun and Jason

Ever since Father gave us the privilege of matching our second generation, I approached it as another responsibility. Because I had no clue, Father gave us no specific instructions, it became somewhat of a burden. My husband and I talked about it often and we also talked to other parents, the question was still: where do we start?

Paul and I went through many 40 day prayer and study conditions, especially during the time Yusun joined STF in the summer of 2002 and expressed a desire to be matched before she started college. She also expressed that she’d like to be matched to a young man who had gone through STF. Yusun assured us many times that she would put her faith in our decision as a match for her and would accept any match.

Throughout the year we thought of several young men whose parents we knew, approaching some with our request. We approached several parents of international and interracial marriages but nothing came of it. With one couple we even talked at length about a match between their son and Yusun, and in the process actually helped them to finalize a match of their son to another young lady. I am emphasizing here that it is a process and that if one door does not open another will be open already, if we look for it.

We further inquired from other couples and second generation who knew Yusun who they thought would be a good match for her. Yusun’s best friend, Joletta, who was also on STF suggested Garrun Abrahams among a few other names. We also looked at some other names from the second generation list on Jim Stephens’s web sight and waited.

By this time we realized that it wasn’t anything we had to do, rather we had to discover whom God had chosen for our daughter. My husband, Paul, stated that when he asked God what we should be doing, the answer came that we should continue to actively search for a match, implying that if we do nothing He cannot work. Matching is an action and process. And just like the second coming, it is not necessarily best to look for great signs (dreams and visions) to be observed. We kept looking for opportunities and waited for Heavenly Father’s desire to take hold.

While continuing our prayer and search, out of the blue one Friday night in April we received a phone call from Gary Abrahams who both of us knew from former missions together and as the husband of one of my German friends in the church. He was in town with his daughter Brooke for a soccer match. Gary came for dinner on Saturday night and we talked a lot.

The topic of matching came up. We had thought of Gary’s son Garrun in the past but since both parents were of American and German couples, we did not consider it strongly since we felt that True Father may prefer a more inter-cultural match. Still both our couple and Gary felt this may be where God was leading us. Gary took the idea of matching their son Garrun with our daughter Yusun back to his wife Friederun. She had gotten to know Yusun last November when she hosted a birthday celebration for Yusun (the only night Yusun and her team stayed at a blessed family’s home during her whole time on STF).

Both our families decided to start a prayer condition together for 21 days to ask God if this match were His Will. After we finished, though, we didn’t get any specific answer that this is God’s Will. We also didn’t get any resistance from God saying that this would not be a good match, whereas with all the other attempts my husband and I made there was always something that stopped us. Since God often works in mysterious ways, both couples decided to proceed.

By that time it was June and we were waiting for our children to come home for their summer break from STF. So we agreed that we would wait until then to present our proposal to Garrun and Yusun. At the same time we also made arrangements to have our two families meet at our house to get to know each other better. Gary agreed on driving to Barrytown for the STF Kick-Off workshop to take Garrun, Kirstin (their second daughter) and Yusun.

When Yusun came home for her summer break, we suggested a match with Garrun Abrahams. She had met him on several occasions at workshops on STF and before. Faithfully she accepted our suggestion. When the Abrahams came to our house we had a very harmonious gathering and our children accepted the match. That was July 24th, 2003.

I realize now that it was a natural flow of events. There was no resistance or struggle involved. We worked with the two requirements Yusun had expressed to us: she would like to be matched with a young man who went through STF training and it should happen before she’d start with college. We added one requirement of our own which is kind of external but since we live the physical world, we thought it would be important to Yusun, that her match had to be taller than she.

The young couple expressed the desire to keep the matching quiet for a while so they could keep focusing on their mission. As parents we wanted to shout it out to the world and share our happiness. It has been over a month now since Garrun and Yusun made their commitment and we are now letting others know about it (with their permission).

We are now awaiting the approval of our leaders and Father. I feel that it was a match made in heaven and am confident of Father’s final approval.

God Bless, Jutta Tobkin

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