The Words of the Strait Family
Re: Andrew Wilson's Comments About The Church Providing A Matchmaking Service
August 15, 2002
When I first read Dr. Wilson's well-reasoned argument, I was quite persuaded by it. Parental matching of second generation raises a host of questions and challenges, some of which are well elaborated by him. In responding to such challenges as geographical isolation and limited access to children of different cultures, however, we must guard against adopting models of the past from the era before blessed central families. Jewish and Korean matchmakers matching fallen children of fallen parents should not lightly be considered as a model for the parents of blessed central families matching their own pure, original sons and daughters.
True Father, I believe, is eager for the blessed central families to establish models of success in all areas. Parental matching of children should become a shining model for the world that blessed central families are about the business of establishing a revolutionary true culture. Investing energy in creating a central matchmaking function could easily divert energy from the real task of developing programs to assist parents and children in achieving a successful matchmaking process. Furthermore, I believe that introducing a centralized matchmaking service could easily run counter to the second point of our current 40-day prayer condition: Expansion of the Cheon Il Guk (Cosmic One Nation).
To me, expansion of the Cosmic One Nation includes deepening our grasp of our intrinsic connectedness with others (in both the physical and the spiritual worlds), and overriding our powerful tendencies to view ourselves primarily as isolated individuals and only secondarily as connected beings.
In my still-limited experience of seeking for God's chosen mate for our son, participating in the matching process draws the parents closer together with each other and the parents and child into a much closer relationship. To begin looking for a match for our son, my wife and I have been drawn into a kind of heartistic sharing with him about fundamental issues that we have never before experienced. Furthermore, we have communicated with other parents with whom we haven't spoken for years--and these are not casual conversations. These connections, I believe, are all part of the fabric of the Cosmic One Nation that we can now build.
True Father is trying to put in place the enduring traditions of the Kingdom of Heaven on earth, in which all parents are true parents. That Kingdom, I believe, will be one in which parents match their children under God's inspiration. Of course we are not at all at that place right now, but we must always keep the ideal in mind. Matching our children is a set-up for profound spiritual growth of both parents and children in the blessed central families. True Parents are offering us this gift and packaging it with support from hosts of liberated and blessed spirits.
Let's beware of looking to the past for models for the Cosmic One Nation. Matt Jones and In Soo Kim are doing a great job of pioneering the second generation blessing workshop with involvement of both parents and children in the opening segment. This model needs encouragement, support, and development.
Perhaps we need matching process workshops in which first and second generation together explore the meaning and dynamics of matching as an integral part of establishing the Cosmic One Nation. This could become a rich setting for bringing the parents and children in each family much closer to the realms of heartistic relations that in the ideal case would have existed at least from the moment the child was conceived. Such workshops could provide a wonderful opportunity for probing into the matchmaking wisdom and process of True Father and of different cultures, with an eye to capturing the essentials most relevant to matchmaking by blessed central families supported by the liberated and blessed spirits.
In parallel, of course, we do need a central listing function with contact information for all of the blessed central families and a matching candidate qualification process such as is already defined at www.2ndgenblessing.com.
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