The Words of the Selle Family

Personal Testimony of a Chinese Musician

Translated by Angelika Selle
April 1987

This testimony of a Chinese musician who attended a workshop in Cam berg, West Germany, printed here anonymously, was taken from the April 1987 issue of the German Unification Church newsletter.

I grew up in Beijing. Even before the Cultural Revolution, terrible things happened in my country. Many people were persecuted and tortured. In 1957, for example, scientists, high-level professors, and intellectuals were looked upon as violators of the law and were incarcerated by the Chinese government for up to 20 years. My uncle, a professor, was among them.

The Cultural Revolution, which lasted from 1966 to 1976, brought only destruction. People were killed, and there was no freedom, no democracy, and no human rights. I myself was arrested because I had refused to study Mao's book. Because of this "crime,' I was put in prison for four years. The whole time I was locked up, my hands and legs were in chains. I was also tortured.

I was a musician and played the violin. When I was released, I was physically handicapped because I had been in chains all that time. It took quite a while before my hands healed enough for me to play again. Even today, I feel pain when I am very tired. After years of difficulties and perseverance, I tried many ways to escape from China in order to study music in Germany. Finally I succeeded.

On reflection, I see my life as one of persecution and suffering. I often thought about my future and which road I was supposed to take. I also thought very much about China's future, and I asked myself, "Why are the Chinese people always fighting among themselves?" When I was in prison all I heard was talk about class struggle. Sometimes I even thought of committing suicide. I didn't want to live, but somehow I always had the strength to continue on.

Something inside told me that I was not to die at such a young age because I was supposed to fulfill many things in my life. I realize now that such strength and courage must have come from God. God wanted me to live, and He led me to this path of faith so that I could follow a religious way. Through my suffering I paid the indemnity.

After attending the seven-day Divine Principle seminar in Camberg I was able to understand that God is parents. My faith was awakened by the Principle, and I realized that this was the path I was looking for. I am now 40 years old, and I think this year will mark the turning point in my life.

I want to give everything in order to follow the teachings of Rev. Moon and to bring "Godism" to China. I want to solve China's problems, and the only way to do that is to bring God's love to the people there and awaken them. Only then will they stop fighting with each other and work together to realize a better world centering on love and unity.

I know very well than Communist China doesn't allow its people to believe in God; believers are thrown into prison. But I am strongly convinced that I have to spread God's word, the Principle, and my knowledge about the life and work of Rev. Moon in China under any circumstances.

In order to reach this ideal, I am ready to sacrifice anything, even my music studies. I am determined to strengthen my faith and trust. I have to begin in a small way, first by studying English and German, in order to prepare myself.

I pray to God that He will enable me to go to America, where there are many Chinese with whom I can work. I want to work together with people who are well versed in China's situation and who have strong faith, so that we can prepare ourselves for our future mission in China. I feel that now is the right time to bring the Principle to China and to let the Chinese people know who Rev. Moon is and how they can realize an ideal world. I believe that God will give me His support, His energy, and His trust as well. 

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