The Words of the Nylen Family

STF Reflections from the 1st FR Condition - 14. Oct to 20. Nov 2004

Miriam Nylen
October 14, 2004

Well, since I basically cut of my relationship with God one year ago itís difficult to get it back, and itís hard to feel that God is with me. Sometimes when I pray I get really happy and I donít want to stop, but because of time I have to. When things are going bad internally during FR and I stop to pray they start going better afterwards. Sometimes during FR when I meet and talk to people I really wonder if God didnít prepare them after all. I strongly believe that God is guiding and working through Kyung. So in that sense I sort of experience God every day.

I feel like Iím on my way, Iím going somewhere! The more I learn about myself, the more I work on myself, the more I realize how much I actually have left to work on. Things I have learned: first things first, PUSH myself, DENY myself, PREPARE myself, take INITIATIVE, CUT selfish feelings, DETERMINE myself, NEVER be SATISFIED, be GRATEFUL, FR for the sake of the people, GIVE 100%, concepts are nothing other than concepts, and other stuff.

The advise people give me when I FR to them, that actually gives me motivation throughout other runs. My team and team leader are just a big highlight altogether. One day when I really didnít want to FR and I wouldnít put my heart into it; I just wanted the run to end so I could report and have my team feeling sorry for me, because I had such a tough run, but then I realized how selfish I was being, felt really bad and decided that I wanted to make Kyung happy over my report instead of sad. So I changed my attitude and I even started to enjoy the run. In the end I really felt like I had won a battle over my fallen self! Iím on my way, alright! Iím getting there!!

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