The Words of the Lee Family

Building a Foundation for Love

Mal Sook Lee
April 13, 1985
Conference on Eve
Barrytown, New York
From notes by Su Schroeder

Mrs. Mal Sook Lee

I joined the. Unification Church on January 10, 1955. 1 was then a student at Ehwa University, a very fine women's university. Three months after I met the church, I decided to quit school.

The professors asked me how I could do such a thing, and gave me three more days to consider my decision. I fasted for the three days. I didn't know so much about fasting so I stayed in bed during the whole time. I prayed to God to teach me spiritually what my decision should be. For three days I thought I might die, but when I found I was still alive, I thought it was God's will.

Dreams Reveal the Answers

On the last day of my fast I had a dream about the university. In the dream, a bull came out from behind my dormitory, crying in regret. I felt the bull represented my ancestors. The school was burning down, but a train was going through the fire to a small house, where some elder members of the church were gathered. I was on that train with about sixty other people.

After I finished fasting I felt I needed more time to think. I fasted again and had another dream. Two well-known men from the university were chasing me. I ran until I came to a river, and there was Jesus in white clothes, a staff in his hand and a lamb by his feet. There was a barbed wire fence in front of him and I couldn't jump over it. I asked Jesus if I could go under the fence, but he said I would have to climb the twelve wire levels in order to reach him. I thought the barbs would catch me, and I questioned in my mind why Jesus said I had to climb the fence. The men were nearly upon me, so I begged Jesus, but he said, "No, you can't go under." In my dismay I looked to the left and saw a big tire and hid myself inside it. The two men were not able to find me, and when they left, I asked Jesus again if I could co under the fence before they came back. Again he said, "No, you can't go that way." After that I finally realized that following Jesus was not easy, but I climbed the fence and got over. Jesus was watching me, and after I got over he gave me some rice and said, "Follow me."

My background was Buddhist, not Christian. The members of my family were all very faithful, and one of my grandmothers was particularly devout. Her spirit was very pure and she kept herself immaculately clean; she would change clothes several times a day, even after going to the bathroom. It wasn't easy for her when I joined this Christian group, but she prayed from mid-night to 4 a.m. after I joined, and fasted three days each month.

When I had this dream about Jesus, I felt that I should follow him, even though I had such a solid Buddhist background. Not many have had such dreams of Jesus, even those with strong Christian faith. I think my ancestors helped me a lot. It wasn't easy to join, but after I joined I became quite stable.

Many students from Ehwa University were interested in the Unification Church. The people who ran the school were afraid that it would become a Unification Church school, so they decided to keep members out. Again I fasted three days. The professors asked me to choose between the Unification Church and the university. Even though I could get my diploma in only two months' time, I left school and dedicated myself to the Unification Church.

At the time I joined, many other women, including Dr. Young Don Kim, joined from the university. However, many later left the church because they were of marrying age, and their parents were pushing them to get married. My mother also said she could introduce me to a good man, and asked me why I didn't leave the church to marry. I asked her to give me seven days to think, and I fasted the seven days. For three days I didn't eat or drink anything, but the last four days I drank water. Then I had another dream.

In the dream my grandmother came to me and said that the Unification Church was similar to Buddhism, and that I should stay absolutely. She testified to Father as a respected teacher; she also said that Satan represented evil, while Father represented goodness on earth. Goodness was now very small, but eventually all people would come to know True Father. She also told me that I was "the tenth generation."

Because of that clear dream, I could understand that the goal of the Unification Church was the same as that of Buddhism, even though the process was not the same. I felt I was somehow…

Even now I feel it is amazing that I decided to stay with True Parents. Maybe if I hadn't fasted, I wouldn't have been able to catch the signal from my ancestor. I realized then the importance of prayer. Later, when I was pioneering, I became tired and ill. I thought I needed to improve my health before I could continue with this work, so I thought about leaving my mission to get better. Then I had another dream of my grandmother, who appeared again and repeated what she had said before. So I stayed. Soon after, Father called me to a matching, and I was blessed in the 36 Couple Blessing.

On Child Education

When I first met my husband, he asked me if I ever thought very much about the next generation. He then told me a famous story about a Korean mother. For the sake of the children's education, she first lived near a marketplace and her boy became good at business. Later the family moved, but there was a cemetery nearby and her boy would play there, pretending to bury people. She didn't like that, so they finally moved near a school and it worked out very well: Her son decided he wanted to be a scholar.

Our children's education is very important it begins in the womb. When you conceive a child and become pregnant, it is important to use this to influence the child's future. Think of the image of the child you want when the baby is conceived.

During pregnancy the mother's thoughts and actions and those of her husband will greatly influence the baby. For example, if the parents sing holy songs and play music, the child can turn out to be very talented musically -- even if the parents do not have any real talent themselves. On the other hand, if the parents fight with each other and are always inconsistent, the child will be like that, too. Each couple must prepare to have special children who can help lead the world. You should have beautiful, smart children: This is the parents' responsibility. Also, Mother once advised us that it's better not to have too many children within a short space of time. It is better to wait three years between each child. Then each child will be of better quality.

Both parents must establish a good standard of faith for the children. If the parents can't relate well to each other, their children will also find it hard to relate to others, and will not be able to become leaders. Therefore it is very important for the parents to have a good relationship with each other. If you can overcome your differences and really unite, God will bless your descendants. If one parent has some shortcoming in character say, the tendency to be narrow-minded -- pray that the children won't inherit that.

Someday our children may have the opportunity to speak in front of many people, so if you read Father's words to them they will have a sense of how to express what they want to say. Take time to love, educate, and raise your children up.

For seven years I have been working at Jacob House -- a children's center in upstate New York. From my experience, I feel that American mothers have the potential to produce truly historical children. In the Orient, the man goes to work while the wife cares for the children at home; she really invests her energy into them. However, many American wives are talented and capable and find good jobs, but they don't have much time left to love and educate their children. This is one reason why there are so many problems in America. Many American children vacillate greatly their emotions and moral perceptions, because they are content when their mothers are at home giving love to them but become very lonely when their mothers are at work. We should try to change this situation.

Father, Grandmother Hong (Mother's mother – Dae Mo Nim), and Mother on True Parents' wedding anniversary in 1980.

Father and Mother

In 1960 Father needed to find a bride. In the church there were many capable sisters, and when Father was about to choose, many of the sisters had dreams. Even old women got the inspiration from spirit world that they were to be Father's bride, and they prepared for that. One woman dreamed that her sister was to be the wife of the Messiah. In her dream she saw her sister in the wedding ceremony, but then she saw her sister's face become blotched, and she had to leave.

Most of the members didn't even know Mother then. Mother's mother, Grandmother Han, has very deep faith, and Mother's grandmother Cho-ssi, was also very faithful. Grandmother Cho-ssi had only one daughter -- Grandmother Han, and Grandmother Han had only one daughter -- Mother.

Grandmother Cho-ssi sewed a lot, and she eventually became quite rich. Her husband was gentle, clever, and well respected, but she was the more active of the two. She had two children, Grandmother Han and President Hong of Saeilo. She invested money for her son to study medicine and music. Grandmother Han didn't have an opportunity to study, but she learned how to sew well and keep house.

Thus Mother was the third generation of a very faithful line. Grandmother Han, and later Mother, belonged to a group that believed in the Saejoonim (the New Messiah), and they made indemnity conditions by sewing clothes for him. Several years before Mother was even born, Grandmother Han had a dream that she would have a special child. She and her husband prayed deeply from the time of Mother's conception through her birth. They expected a boy, but their newborn was a girl.

When Mother was young she attracted the attention of many pious people. When she was only six, Mrs. Ho Ho Bin, leader of the Saejoonim group, declared that Mother was very special. When Mother met Father for the first time, she was only thirteen. He asked her name and she replied, "Han Hak Ja ('Korean crane child')." Father said to himself, "Han Hak Ja is born to Korea."

For such a position, Mother needed a strong foundation of faith, and Grandmother Han had built one. She always prays until she gets the right answer. Because of her faith she could be mother to Mother. She is otherwise not a greatly talented woman; it was not her ability, but her faith which gave her this qualification.

On February 26, 1960, Father chose Mother to be his bride. Grandmother Han had had an inspiration about this, and Mother had, too. One time when Mother was young she was walking down the street and someone approached her and told her that when she was 18 she would get married to an older, but special person. When they married, Father was 41 and Mother was 18, by Korean reckoning. She didn't hesitate, because she was prepared. Father tested her, but she always answered him perfectly.

Mother is quiet and a deep thinker. She is always ready to serve and sacrifice for God's will. Once I asked her about this and she said, "My mission is to sacrifice and serve for the sake of God's providence. If I can fulfill this, it is my pleasure."

Since True Parents have a special mission, Father explained, Mother had to have good children. They planned for each child sensitively and carefully. Grandmother Han always knew from spirit world when Mother was pregnant.

Lifestyle of the True Family

Father loves God the most and sacrifices himself for His will. Mother as his bride keeps the same standard in her heart. Mother always follows Father. She never complains of the burden of her historical role, nor of those of her children. Mother cares for thirteen children and leads the church now, but she never shows her struggle. We can see how great she is.

When Mother is big with child, she still takes responsibility; she organizes everything when they travel and cares for all the family's clothes. At home she checks all the children's rooms and gives them advice regarding the furniture for each room. She truly believes her children can have influence over the satanic world, so it is for the sake of the providence that she takes care of them in this way. When Father goes to True Parents' room at night Mother always talks with him and supports him even though she may be very tired. When most people are normally sleeping, True Parents are praying and thinking about us. This is why we can call them True Parents.

Each blessed child is elevated above the satanic world, but unless you are bound to True Parents in heart, your child will have no connection to them. Even if you live in the same house as True Parents, if you don't pray for them and love them, you will have no connection to them. It is not a matter of physical closeness, but of heart. Think about your position of knowing True Parents -- how wonderful it is. Have a grateful mind when you think of the providence. True Parents want the blessed children to inherit their faith, too. When you go to spirit world, knowledge and position do not count for much: only faith and heart.

In True Parent's family, every child attends Pledge on Sunday, even the babies. This is the True Family's tradition. Never think your child is too young to attend Pledge; if you do, you will lose the chance to teach them. Learn how to control your physical body or your children won't be able to control theirs. Think about those who serve God. Monks and nuns spend all their liven controlling their bodies, but they can't have blessed children. We can have blessed children, but if we can't control ourselves, they will inherit our bad points. I try never to complain: I am ready to serve until I die. You should try to be that way, too.

When I look at Mother, I feel Father is so lucky to have such a steadfast, uncomplaining woman for his wife. Whenever Mother is upset or tired or angry, you can hardly tell. She remains peaceful and quiet. It's better never to show an angry face to your children. When making a major decision, Mother always asks Father first.

Since May 17, 1984, some of the True Children, myself, and others have been participating in a 40-day prayer condition at the East Garden holy ground from midnight to 4 a.m. The holy ground is on a hill, and it is windy and cold; but even in rain several people pray each night. Hyo Jin Nim, Hyun Jin Nim, and Jin Whi Nim pray there. Hyo Jin Nim's prayer is very deep. He is now in charge of the education of the blessed children. If he sets a good standard for them, the American children can unite well with True Parents. Actually, ever since 1981, the True Children have been praying from 6:30 to 7 p.m. every night.

Mother's Example and Advice

Since Father went to Danbury, Mother has been educating members, especially the elder blessed couples. She has even given us guidance about good grooming. She says that it is important to take time to care for our appearance: we should be neat, Mother doesn't spend much money; she is a thrifty person. Father has taught her to save, and not to waste material things. So she shops at inexpensive stores and sales, and she takes good care of her clothes. In this way, she sets a good example for us.

Each day after Mother wakes up, she checks all the children to make sure they're up. Mother comes to breakfast at 7 a.m. every morning, always very neat and ready to start her day. After breakfast the leaders report to her and she gives them advice. Then she reports everything to Father.

Recently many Japanese leaders and their wives came to America and met with Mother. She spoke to the wives and clearly told them that it was up to them whether their husbands would grow or struggle. The wife determines the future of the husband and children, she said. Every husband has good and bad points, but the wife should not accuse the bad ones. If she focuses on the good points, she can have a very good family. The quality of family life is very much determined by the woman, Mother said.

Never Be Discouraged

We have only one life: This is the only chance we will ever have to be in the Unification Church. Never be discouraged, but be patient until you can win the victory. Mother is this way. Have strong faith to win; you can do it. She especially tells this to blessed wives.

Jesus said we should love our enemies. Sometimes it is difficult to love even one person; but be patient and love more than you did before, and you will be able to overcome your difficulties and reach your goal.

No matter what your mission may be, you cannot overcome problems unless you pray. A smart, capable person sometimes thinks he doesn't need God because he can do much on his own. The person who is not so capable always needs God. If he or she reports to the central figure and depends on that vertical relationship and God, growth will come quickly. Father once told a story: "There are two people who are working hard. One thinks, 'I need to relax,' and lies down for three days. Then he thinks, 'Maybe I was wrong,' and goes back to work. The other one keeps working even though he doesn't feel so good inside, and relies on God to take care of him. God would choose the second one. So even if you don't feel inspired, pray to keep going."

We need to read the Principle and study Unification Thought. We also need to study Korean. By 1990, or even by 1988, we must know Korean, or we will not be able to inherit True Parents' way. It is up to you to make your determination.

It is always best to show a peaceful face. Keep bright and smiling, then God can bless you. "Someday" will come, and now is the time to prepare for the future. 

Table of Contents

Tparents Home

Moon Family Page

Unification Library