The Words of the Eu Family
J. S. Eu and his bride Yoon Sook Kim with True Parents.
Since I joined the Unification Church my goal has always been to follow the Principle with my actions. I know that I cannot live for my own benefit. All my life I have felt that my children and my possessions belong to God and True Parents. That's why I didn't have any personal feelings about my son's Blessing. I felt it was just a natural process. In one sense, I don't really consider him my son. He is True Parents' son. They gave him a spouse according to their desire. I know that True Parents are responsible for my son's love, eternally. Now I am just opening up my storage house to let him go. I don't have any attachment to my future grandchildren, either. I recognize that I don't need to devise my own plans for my life because I want to do whatever Father wants. I feel I have a very simple life now. I don't have any concepts.
I always taught my sons to obey and follow True Parents. They never asked why they should. The first generation always asks so many questions -- why, why, why? But my children never asked why. Their obedience is solid. I told them, "Your purpose in being born on earth is to obey Hyo Jin Nim and the True Parents and to work with them." I also think that spirit world guides them, so they don't have any excuse not to follow Father. When my son J. S. heard about the matching, he said, "Whoever Father chooses for my spouse is okay with me, because I believe in Father. I trust Father completely" Father has said that the most important thing in the blessed children's lives is for them to accept the Blessing without any excuses. That is why we have to teach our children to follow True Parents.
Whenever Father sees a blessed child, he always asks, "Who is your father and your mother?" Father doesn't really know the second generation very well, but he knows the first generation. He knows our results, our character, our faith -- everything. Through our foundation Father can reach the second generation. Father used to say to us, "Your second generation is your reflection." When Father looks at our children he can see if their parents have been dedicated to their mission and if they love God and the True Family. Many times Father said to us, "You are working so hard now, and you have to sacrifice so much, but the second generation will reflect all your hard work." That's why I could never go against Father. If you want your children to have a wonderful marriage and a wonderful spouse, you should obey Father now.
When my son J. S. arrived in Korea, Father had already decided his spouse, Yoon Sook Kim [eldest daughter of Rev. Chan Kyun Kim]. Later, I asked him, "Do you like her? Do you love her?"
He said, "Yes, I like her very much." Then Father asked me later, "Does your son love his wife?"
I am very honest so I said, "He didn't say 'I love her.' but he said, 'I like her.'"
Father laughed and said, "Good. If he doesn't say, 'I don't love her; I think it means he loves her."
Of course, they don't even know each other. They never imagined they would be a couple. That's why J. S. cannot say, "I love her." It's too early for that.
One very important point I always emphasized to my children was: "Don't have any preconceived idea of a certain spouse. Even if Father should ask you, 'Who would you like to have?' you should never mention anyone's name. You should not even think of anyone. You should just think, "I will accept the person Father chooses"' This is very crucial.
At the matching there weren't that many sons of the 36 Couples who were the same age as the daughters. Father matched many of the daughters of the 36 Couples with the sons of the 72 and 124 Couples. Almost half of those matched were children of the 124 Couples.
Through this I recognized that God is fair. Most of the 124 Couples are from very poor families, and the reason for this is very important for our members to understand. At the time the Unification Church was established, Korea was a very poor country. There were many children of poor farmers who had very little education, because they had to help their family in the fields. Every day they had to go up the mountains to gather sticks for fuel and carry them back down on their backs.
In 1955 Ehwa University and Yeon Se University started heavy persecution. Because of this the Korean government, all established churches, and all educated people started to persecute the Unification Church. People even wanted the government to stop the movement, to wipe it out. At that time we could not reach any high-level or educated people, so Father sent us out to the countryside to educate these poor farmers' children.
We couldn't say we were from the Unification Church because of our bad reputation, but we could teach them basic things, such as how to read and write Korean or Chinese or English. Through this they became connected to us and some of these young people eventually joined. They went to 7-day workshop, 21-day workshop, and 40-day workshop. Then they left their parents and their farms and became pioneers for the church.
Of course, their parents were very angry with them because they needed their children to do the farm labor. The children more or less escaped from their families. As pioneers they were very poor, so sometimes they would try to go back to their parents and beg them for a little rice or some money, in order to be able to continue their mission on the front line. But often their parents wouldn't give them anything.
When other church members established companies these members could work there, but because of their lack of education and skill they could take positions only as unskilled laborers at very low wages. Most have only a primary school education, and because of the urgency of the providence, they never had a chance to continue their schooling after they joined. All they had was faith in the Principle.
Because of their hardship and their pure faith, however, they could have wonderful children. That's why many of their sons could receive daughters of the 36 Couples as brides. At the matching, when Father looked around the room at the candidates, he saw the 124 Couples' children and said, "Very, very good children" I thought, "Oh, God is good. God knows their pure and humble faith'
When most Western members start their families, they have many questions and complaints about how much money they can get. Most Korean members don't have such concepts. They feel, "Whatever I get is my heavenly destiny. I just want to follow." We should always feel, "If Father is successful, I will be successful. I must follow Father and focus on Father's success." We should pray that Father will be successful, then we can say, "This is my honor, my success." In that way we can feel connected and close to Father.
In today's society children cannot trust their parents. That's why young people today have many problems dealing with the opposite sex. They don't discuss this issue with their parents but only with their friends. If our children cannot discuss this issue with their parents, then their course of education is a total failure.
J. S. is now 22 years old. One time he got involved in a difficult situation. A girl in another class became attracted to him. She always waited at the bus stop for him to get out of class. When she saw him get into the bus, she would get in, sit next to him and say, "You don't know how much I have missed you."
My son had been strictly educated not to touch any girl. He came and told me about her, so I called her on the phone. I said, "You shouldn't touch my son. Our church is different from any other church. You must not contact him; you must not try to attract him. Please study our Principle." She said, "Okay, I'll try': but she still continued to tempt him.
Finally my son said to me, "Please tell my homeroom teacher about this problem." So I told his homeroom teacher to talk to the girl's homeroom teacher, and the teacher scolded her severely. She became so ashamed that her secret was known, and she could no longer chase after my son. I appreciated my son reporting this to me very much. I was so happy he did that.
At the time of the fall Eve knew the contents of the commandment; but she still followed the archangel and his evil direction because she was very curious. That's why Father always taught us that this kind of situation in a young person's life is critical. We should educate our children to report as soon as they sense a problem. Because of the way my son handled this situation I knew that if there was a Blessing, he would completely unite with Father.
First we should teach our children to love True Parents. They should long for their ideal spouse to be like True Father or True Mother, not their own physical parent. Blessed children should not love their parents too much. It's better to leave some distance. If the parents have a selfish love relationship with their children, that's like building a wall against the True Parents. The children are then prevented from directly receiving True Parents' love. We need a certain distance from our children because they are not our possession. They are True Parents' children.
We have to teach our children to love God first, True Parents second, and their physical parents third. We can teach them this by having the whole family get up early and say pledge every Sunday morning. From the time a child can walk he should attend pledge service. The children know their parents' good and bad points, but they can respect True Parents when they see how much their own parents love and obey and respect them. Through this tradition, they can learn to follow True Parents from the beginning of their life.
Some of the blessed children have developed too close a connection with their physical parents. When they were matched, some of them hesitated and asked their mother or father, "Well, I got matched to this person. Do you know their family? What do you think?" But their parents should not evaluate their child's partner in matching. If they do, Satan can invade, and because of this, some of these children lost their position. We can see that the first generation is judged automatically by their children.
We, as the first generation who went through the wilderness course, have already failed many times. We complained, we resisted, we argued. In many cases our motivation came from Satan's side. That's why we have already been invaded by Satan. Of course we can always repent and change, but Father says that if you pound a nail into the wall and then take it out, the hole still remains. Satan knows about our complaining heart. Only through following the second generation can we enter Canaan. Father told us that they are now the heroes. Our children are our internal connection to True Parents.