The Words of the Cooper Family
Recently there was a bit of a hen night in 43LG and I think somewhere else a low key stag party.
Last Wednesday we also held a small social evening for some of the people from within our community who are getting ready to head over to Korea for their marriage blessing. We wanted to take the time to wish them well. When a man and a woman come together and ask God to bless their union and make them husband and wife it is always a significant and joyful moment for the community.
Some had already left the UK, others were just still up in their University towns outside London, and some were too tied up with work before they take a couple of weeks leave. But I guess those of us who were there ate enough Nando's chicken for all the rest, and thought of them as we did…
Posting this for all who will be participating next week and including some of the words that were shared over dinner.
I shared a few things about preparing for the time in Korea and the blessing ceremony, but Robert and C.'s reflections really were more than sufficient.Words that could also be reflected on by those of us who have been married for many years.
The blessing day for me, five years ago, was not the most profound of experiences. In order to fully appreciate the blessing for what it is one must not look simply at the spectacle of all the thousands of couples getting ready to be married. Getting married is like planting a tree. It doesn't look that impressive one year on or even two. It is not a daffodil that is there for a bit in spring. It is planting a huge oak tree that doesn't look very impressive for a long time but will be there for hundreds of years for all our descendants to come. Don't miss the moment of its planting.
One of my main memories from the blessing day (aside from being tired and hot) was the holy water ceremony. We were lucky enough to go on stage and get a handful of holy water from True Father Himself. It's hard to say what it felt like without sounding cliché but 'cleansing' and 'purifying' come to mind.
For a few days after the blessing though, I had some struggles with Robert. There was no particular reason why, I just found him quite annoying somehow and was struggling. I knew these feelings weren't coming from me or from him. It felt like a test, as if something was trying to break our marriage before it had even begun properly. A few days later it all went away and it made me realize how determined I needed to be to fight for my blessing. Not for my sake or even for Robert's sake but for God and the world. That is the beauty of the blessing to me. It's not just about the couple like many marriages often are. It's also about God and the world – like it says in our vows.
It's a good idea to read and pray about the vows before you go to the blessing so that you already make them your own, you already make that commitment. In the madness of the blessing day with translation and radios etc. it can be difficult to really feel it when you shout "Ye" to something in Korean that you haven't read or thought about before!
Another point is guidance about life after the blessing ceremony. Things are often not said so clearly, so the most important thing is to be able to communicate honestly and openly with your new spouse and make those decisions together between your couple and God.