The Words of the Cooper Family

Stepping back and getting involved

Simon Cooper
November 26, 2011

It's just a desire

Sitting on the sofa preparing for Sunday and a new week, and a message, and finally much later than intended, the house is quiet.

Taking some time to think of all the demands, or expressed desires of the children that have been presented to me over the course of this evening, and reflecting on how I responded or often reacted. It suddenly dawned on me that the beauty of children is that they feel something, and they act on it, and express it, without any cunning plan (usually), just tell you what they now need, or what is now important to them. I really know where I am with them, most of the time.

So, rather than how I experience it in the moment, which is often as pressure, or something to say 'no' to, or apply delay tactics to, I am sitting here and reviewing the last few hours in a different light.

I had so many different desires clearly, firmly, and earnestly expressed to me:

• can you get me a pen

• I want to be in the video too

• can you play with me

• Can I buy an iPod touch Dad, if its with my money

• Can you read Percy Jackson please

• can you play now

• Can I have your phone now

• he's going to hit me, can you stop him

• can you take away his pocket money, he called me a…

• I need that box which…can you find it

• can we play darts now

• Dad, for Christmas…

• Dad, I just need to go on the computer to check an iPod touch on Amazon, it's going to be my own money…

• Can you come and say a prayer now,

• Will you lie down with me.

• for Christmas, Prayer, iPod, read please, can you talk to mum then, and see what she thinks, about the iPo….

And so, actually these are all incredible opportunities to help my children process their desires, for me to honor them, understand them, guide them, and learn so much and grow into a patient and more thoughtful person. Being a parent…so often is a missed opportunity. Don't be afraid but get involved. It's more important than anything else. 

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