The Words of the Bates Family
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The Words of the Bates Family |
I was there the day that Tim Folzenlogen is talking about. Please remember that this was a very different time in our church history. Nan Sook's book [Nan Sook Hong, Hyo Jin Moon's first wife] had just come out, and Hyun Jin Nim was the only one in True Family who was really in a position to defend and protect the True Family. True Parents had been through a lot, and it seemed that the church leaders weren't sure how to deal with the new wave of criticism from within our church as well as from the outside.
Hyun Jin Nim has always been very clear about one thing. Since the very early 90's, he has always maintained that the True Family has an identity as a family, not just as individuals. He would regularly say that if you defile one member of the family, you defile the family as a whole. He was passionate about protecting True Parents from that kind of negative criticism. As he took more leadership in the coming years, he maintained that standard, and would not accept outspoken criticism of True Family from church leaders unless all the facts were known. Hyo Jin Nim used to also say at that time "If you want to criticize True Family, go ahead… just make sure you get both sides of the story first!"
Tim was one of the early pioneers of both being a member and being openly critical of True Family. He is a creative artist, and very good with words, and could often elicit strong emotions from members by the way he portrayed events. His writings included critical articles about a number of the True Family, which Hyun Jin Nim definitely didn't approve of. Tim came to see Hyun Jin Nim when he was requested to, but it seemed clear to me that they were not going to see eye to eye. If I remember correctly, Hyun Jin Nim was concerned not just about what was said, but about the way things were said, and more about other members of his family than himself. He felt it necessary to defend the honor of True Parents' family, and most of us members agreed at that time. I'm sure what was said then was very tame in comparison to what is declared everyday now by our own church leaders!
That culture of protecting True Family continued through all of the time that Hyun Jin Nim was our Movement's key leader. He defined "Ideal Family" as a family centered on God's Providence, not as a family with no problems. He knew that we had problems in our families and in our community, but felt that we wouldn't gain much by exposing the dirty laundry, and could gain a lot if we focused on that providential definition of being "ideal" individuals, families, and community. When others downplayed us as "anything but ideal!" he would disagree, and go back to his (and what he believed to be True Parents') definition of "ideal family". A family that lives for God's will to be done can comfort God's heart even when they struggle, and is working on God's ideal, even if they aren't there yet.
I could describe the events of that day if you really want me to, but let me give you this instead. I met with Tim a few years ago in a very friendly and civil situation and found him to be a very nice guy. He is now married to a spiritual daughter of mine after both of them moved on from challenging blessings. They have a beautiful and loving family. We discussed the event, and we both listened respectfully to each other, and could empathize with each other's story. I think he was expecting me to be bigger or meaner than I am and I expected him to be more disrespectful. We were both happy to be wrong. Although he wished things had gone differently, I honestly felt that he had moved on and made a good life for himself, and has put any hurt behind him. His wife, Renee is very good with that, and has helped many people to do the same. Maybe it's a lesson we all can learn from!
I hope this helps!