In August, I was informed about ETF (European Task Force) through several other HARPies (High School Association for the Research of Principles). ETF sounded like program that would allow me to widen my viewpoint on the world and understand the differences in people; their culture, what shapes them and so forth. But, most importantly overcome my fallen nature while building my foundation of faith. What caught my attention was the motto of ETF; service through action. For quite a while, I was hoping there would be some program for second generation that would focus on service and action. I was not sure if I would be able to join ETF as there were limited spaces and those spaces were already designated to certain people. Despite this, some of the ETFers were adamant that I would join the team, "just wait, and see," one ETFer said. And so, not long after receiving news that I could only join if someone dropped out, someone indeed dropped out, and I was notified that I could join. Everything seemed to turn out exactly as I had envisioned it to be, and that I would, without a doubt, be challenged on ETF to overcome my limitations.

I came to Frankfurt with no expectations, or so I thought. I asserted that I would and had no concepts about ETF and would look forward to joining the team on a clear mindset. However, deep down, I did have concepts and expectations. I can not pinpoint what I expected, but I wanted to see the team in a more than unrealistic way. Even as I write this, I can not believe I had such an expectation, what is the possibility of a team of six women from various backgrounds be like that, was I in some fazed out state of mind!

Traveling to Switzerland was difficult to say the least. It was hard trying to accustom myself to the new atmosphere and culture. I heard Germans were harsh (I heard this from Europeans, NOT Americans), but how harsh, I had yet to tell. I carried around my two seventy pound bags onto the train with trepidation. I 'prayed' that someone would know English and be of help along the way or at least reassure me that I was transferring to the right train. The atmosphere was already closing in. In one sense, I had to really see if I could get to Unterterzen on time, be competent, and not get lost. It was time for me to be keen and have faith. Cool Experience. When I arrived in Switzerland, the team greeted me with unusual remarks. One important note to mention, I had no idea we had a team leader, and that it was Emanuel, as it brought about a lot of misunderstanding and communication problems. Some team members looked at me with inquisition. Why, as an American, was I on their team, what was I doing in Switzerland? It was a pleasant welcome (a bit of sarcasm). I was too tired to give any enthusiastic reaction, so I was in error for not reaching out to them. Essentially, everyone was sensitive on the team. It was rather unusual to deal with so many sensitive people as I can be very ruthless. This would be a good learning experience to become more sympathetic; have a better sense of human relations on an external and internal level. My greatest fear upon arrival was fundraising in Switzerland, at least the majority of the team members knew how to speak some German or were fluent.

I began fundraising with Lisi, who showed me the "tricks" of product selling. The Swiss people were amazingly amiable, but what an experience it was not communicating in my native language and trying to decipher what people were saying. For a few days I fundraised with a team member and tried to build my German vocabulary, not to mention confidence. Each team member had their own unique style of fundraising which was rather interesting to observe. I learned so much through each member and something positive that I could take with me when I would go out fundraising alone. I could see how much of a struggle it was for each team member, and was fearing the day I had to fundraise alone. Each member was trying to discover something.

Through this process of discovering ourselves and our mission through fundraising, it was a good indicator of where our faith stood. Was this year about our relationship with God or our relationship with everything else but leading a life for the sake of the whole?

The first day of fundraising alone was the most petrifying experience. Emanuel dropped me off in a small town in Liechtenstein. I could not believe that it had come time for me to go alone in this barren looking town with vicious flesh-eating dogs ready to bite me. I got out of the van as slow as I could. I had to conjure up every possible excuse as why I was not prepared. I reluctantly grabbed my basket and tried not for see what would come out of this run. I looked at the red VW as it sped off into the hills. And so I was left alone with God. I walked to the first house and tried speaking German, man, it was sad. People had a difficult time trying to understand me, not only was I speaking softly but I lacked the faith, which made the situation worse. However, as I became more resolute, and I felt like I was gaining control over fundraising, I had great success and nearly everyone who was home gave me some sort of donation or bought a product. It was the best run I ever had. Just as I finished, I walked over to a huge hill overlooking a valley of trees and green rolling hills, and sat down. I felt God was looking down at what I had just accomplished. God was smiling; it was undoubtedly God's Parental Love. Striking. I knew at that point that as much as I resisted wanting to go out and disregard Emanuel's 'request,' I knew it was best for me to overcome my fear. I saw this day as a chance to grow internally and also see that God worked through Emanuel. If it had been any other day or time, maybe, things would have not turned out as extraordinary as they did.

The last day of fundraising was a wonderful close. The team really united to reach the goal and make a monetary and internal offering to God. I was rather skeptical that we would not be able to make the goal only because I was unsure that on an individual level I could reach my personal goal. Nevertheless, there was so much positive energy and spirit on the team that there was no way we would not be able to reach our goal. My morning run proved to be eventful. I had never expected so much to happen during my run. Everything I ever wished to come true during fundraised came true. It began with going to the first house. As with many of the other English-speaking team members we longed to speak to someone in English. I was debating whether I should start at this particular house first, and was so close to deciding not to, but was quickly drawn to just go ahead and start there. A young woman answered the door and immediately began speaking English to me. She was so enthusiastic of my presence. I moved on to the next house. There, a middle-aged woman greeted me with a typical skeptical smile. She too spoke in English and was quick to ask me if I was associated to any sect. I adamantly told her I was fundraising for my studies, but added that I believed in certain principles and so forth. She gave a long stare, and walked back into her house without giving an indication of whether she would come back. I stood there, giving myself a time limit to wait for her. Several minutes later, she brought her daughter out and told me she would buy several pieces of jewelry. After the purchase, she wished me the greatest luck in my endeavors and despite her cloud of skepticism she turned around and ignored her snobby feelings to reject me. With every house thereafter, most people spoke English and were, surprisingly, happy to see me. Towards the end of the run, I was thinking about how some team members had more luck than others in receiving large donations or meeting extremely nice people. Just as I was heading down to several apartment complexes, I felt guided to skip them and go to several houses across the street. It seemed no one was home at any of the houses, but to my surprise, there was someone at every house. At the first house, an old man greeted me, and without hesitation bought one piece of jewelry, but let me keep 35F as change as a gift for Christmas. At the next house, an old woman also gave me a large donation despite having no interest in anything I was selling. I headed to the last house of the run. There, a middle-aged woman opened the door, sad, and weak looking she patiently listened to my schpiel. She stood before me, pondering of something for a long time. She said she was spending Christmas alone as her husband was ill and she had no money. I was moved by the woman's heart of wanting to give; I stood there saddened to hear of her loneliness and was without a response. She told me to wait a minute, as she wanted to show me something. She took a long time, but I felt I could not leave without saying anything. She finally returned with something in her hand. She took my hand and gave me 30F, as I felt I had to refuse this (of course, realistically I could not) I was in utter shock. She sent me off with a nice blessing of a good year and safety. It was a superb morning run. The evening run/blitz was the best blitz I ever had. I was surprised at the success of both Parmy and I (thanks to Parmy). From bar to restaurant, we were welcomed. The team reached their goal by midnight, as it was the greatest accomplishment on both an external and internal level by the team. We had a high goal to reach that day, about 2, 000 F (?). After much help from Sibeals and Lisis precise and speedy counting we realized we had made it!!! and because we united, we could offer something substantial at the end of our fundraising condition in Switzerland.

I had to learn from struggles and fears, which I encountered during fundraising; whether it was a vicious dog chasing Jartrud and I and going through Heaven and Hell hearing a old woman scream at us "GO BACK TO RUSSIA WITH YOUR STUPID WORTHLESS THINGS!" or meeting altruistic people who were so willing to give something to ETF. I was sad to end my time in Switzerland but was also looking forward to spending some time away in London for the British HARP workshop.

When ETF arrived in America... It was delightful being back in New York. The fundraising condition in America was the most rigorous experience on ETF. I always saw myself as a shopper, never someone selling wind chimes from store to store. Growing up in a wealthy county, being shaped by the norms of the majority of people who viewed such a thing as lowly and weird. I had to overcome those pathetic conceptions. Nevertheless, the experience no longer made me see the world with pessimism. As much as it may seem that when you are in the thick of culture and surrounded with young people in their prime time of their life; they seem to forget the important things in life. The first week of fundraising took some time to adjust to. I dreaded going to Kmarts or large superstores. I told myself I would be kicked out instantly if I went in. Everywhere I fundraised in America I always found some sort of internal or external success. On many occasions I was lucky enough to receive both. Whether I was in an industrial park or posh cooperate area, people always seemed positive whether or not they wanted to buy wind chimes. After a frustrating morning run I asked Jonathan Van der Stok if I could be dropped off in a small village where I thought I would fair well with wind chimes. I was convinced that I would have great success. The first business I went to was a disaster, and so on with every business thereafter. God did not want me to have concepts but have absolute faith in the area I was assigned to. There were some towns that had so few businesses that it looked as though no one inhabited the area. These places were the most successful. I was even pleasantly surprised to have people offer me gifts and gourmet lunches. As for fundraising in McDonald's or Kmart, where any fund-raiser would be kicked out, I was welcomed by the owners who secretly bought a wind chime. In a sense I felt God was making it too easy for me, but it was a great to see that I had nothing to fear about fundraising and meeting such diverse people. People did care about the world around them, but in many cases are too caught up in making money and are too afraid to express themselves. While I was in America I meant many chronically ill people. Which was particularly ironic, as before I came to ETF, I had several close friends struck down by illness and passed away. On one of my last runs in America, I walked up to a house that had a NO SOLICITING sign branded on the front door. I ignored the sign and knocked on the house. An old man appeared, so skinny he looked like he had no eaten in a month; almost bones. His face was partially bruised and large bubbles canvassed his skin. He looked at me and grinned. He had few days left of his life. He told me he was elated to that I was doing what I was doing. He explained to me that he was going to die soon, and he was "counting the last few days on this earth." What touched me most about this man was his deep desire to give some donation though he was clearly drained of funds. He grabbed my hand and with tears filling his eyes, he told me he wish he could do something for CARP. I insisted that he not care to so much about it, he shook his head in disappointment, but looked at me with thankful smile. I cannot say how gratifying and how touching it was to meet such a person.

Blitzing was the most difficult aspect of fundraising in America, as I hated going out late at night to bars and restaurants. Sometimes people mistook me as a homeless college student. I do not remember anything significant about blitzing, except for the last week of fundraising in America, Miriam Robertson and I determined to make the team goal. Jonathan dropped us off in a small bar. Fifteen minutes later, we made 140 dollars. The moment Miriam and I entered the bar, people took notice of the wind chimes and took the opportunity to buy some. Some people asked me to come back to their business to sell wind chimes, others were happy they could find someone selling not for themselves, but for a "good cause" The response was amazing, as we quickly sold out of our wind chimes. We felt that when we had the fervent desire to make any goal we could do it as a team.

The final week of fundraising in America was grueling. I began to lose motivation on part that I was burned out physically but also felt a lost of desire. Jonathan could immediately see that in me. After talking to him, I realized that there was something I lacked, I lacked the heartistic aspect of fundraising. On the last day, I did not look at the external and intellectual analyzation of things, but tried to look at things on a heartisitc level. I could finally feel some sort of satisfaction. Fundraising ended with new knowledge and understanding.

The week in New York was a refreshing experience. While the team was helping with the Mr. and Miss University Pageant, I helped out with a United Nations conference. It was rewarding and inspiring. The CARP convention was like smelling an invigorating coffee. The tradition and foundation that True Parents set was responsibly being taken over by Hyun Jin Nim.

The following week, ETF headed to Michigan for a 7-day workshop. For the most part, I was ironically sick with the same illness that had stopped me from participating in the British HARP workshop. I began noticing a pattern that whenever there was a workshop or any kind of long orientation, I was struck down by the same illness. Eventually, I got over it, and was able to take part in the 12-hour lecture practice. I began with some energy, but was amazed towards the end of the marathon, as I felt spiritual power. I finally had learned to lecture on my own, I waited for the day I could learn and someday teach my friends or someone on the street about he Principle in the right manner.

Residing in Chicago for a few weeks with the STFers was a good experience for all of ETF. There was so much each of us could learn from each other and take that back with us to build a strong foundation for witnessing.

Returning to Europe was something I was longing for. I was so accustomed to the European atmosphere, that I had no desire to stay in Chicago any longer. It was time for ETF to move on to something greater. What would witnessing in Slovakia bring?

I had heard wild rumors about Slovakia and the post-communist problems that existed. We would have to share toilets with our neighbors. Ghetto. Anyway, Slovakia was mod enough not to be in such a state. Driving from Bratislava to Banska Bystrica was an interesting experience. As I looked out the ice-frosted windows of the van, I saw nothing but boards of advertisements before me. There were a few scattered gas stations but nothing else seemed to occupy the land. When we arrived at the center I was startled by the state of the city. I looked out the window and saw a boarded building. "This is going to be tough" I thought.

I tried not to let the look of the environment affect my perception to much, but for the first few days, it was something that played a role in the way I viewed witnessing in Banska B. I will never forget walking to the center, as a communist sounding song blared from the speakers (it reminded me of Schindler's List) early in the morning, as I felt I was back in some sort of communist area. I looked at the square and was engulfed with a sense of anxiety. Mirka announced this would be our "battleground".

Witnessing was amazing. I had the great chance to the meet many young inspiring college students. Many people were eager to meet again and for every three people I met, one person was interested in hearing more about the Principle. My first week of fundraising proved to be not so bad as I first envisioned it. Two individuals, Pavol and Michelle came for an Introduction lecture. Both students were studying International Relations which was the major I was anticipating to study in college, had the same hobbies as me, and saw the world as needing to unite to solve world problems. Pavol (when Parmy and I met him, he was wearing a jacket with "Hanna" written on it interesting) was a great contact, someone who I could see several years from now as an associate or half-time CARP member. He was keen on the Divine Principle and showed enough interest in the Introduction Lecture that I was quite sure he would return. However, after the introduction lecture, Parmy and I encouraged him to come back. He gave a hesitant response. A week later, I discovered that he was dating another contact of mine named Eva. Eva was not a typical contact, outspoken and extremely flighty, she would constantly change her mind when making an appointment with me. It was a strange situation to view, as a "spiritual parent." Pavol began to disconnect himself from Parmy and I. Mirka and Parmy would meet him many times on the street, and every time he told them he would try to make it, but never appeared. It was disappointing to see a good contact lose the desire to come. There was nothing more Parmy and I could do, but to get Eva more interested in coming. During this time I met many new and interesting contacts. For that matter, isn't everyone interesting? Anyway, one of these contacts, named Katarina, a young college student from Serbia, had the most incredible heart towards people. After our initial meeting on the street, we invited her to a cafe. Lisi and I met with her, and talked of many things, including her involvement in CARP. She was eager to help us get started and publicize our activities to her friends. Strangely, a week later, Katarina broke her leg and was suffering from the flu. For three weeks she was stuck in bed. Our first "grand opening" of activities-American Night with Sibeal, Parmy, and I- was a wonderful success, but this could have not been possible without Kataraina, as she sent four of her friends to our cultural night. I was so amazed at my contacts, how supportive they were. Though contact with Katarina was scarce during this time, I built a solid friendship with her friends. They rarely missed any events and even supported ETF during the street performance. There are so many great contacts I could talk about, but I will only mention a few more. During my second week of witnessing I met Silvia (who was also surveyed with Pavol's Eva), a freshman in college who lived in America for several years. She was also studying International Relations, like Pavol. On our first meeting, Miriam and I became completely open about CARP, and she immediately wanted to join CARP. I could not believe I was meeting so many young people who had similar interests as me. As Silvia knew more about CARP and came to more activities, she wanted to write an article in her school paper. She interviewed Mirka, and wrote one of the most positive articles I have ever read about CARP in my life. Though she did not overtly express her views about CARP to Mirka, she strongly encouraged her fellow classmates to come to the CARP center and get to know more about our organization. Soon enough many students knew about us.

Meeting Viktoria, was unexpected. It was a long day of fundraising. Everyone I met were either insecure or unstable. They might have expressed some interest, but I felt no connection to anyone. Frustration was at its high. I looked up the street before leaving and thought it was just about time for me to end the day. Suddenly, I turned myself around and stopped the first person I saw. I felt pushed to ask this woman if she wanted to answer a survey for young people. Although her English was not good, she was eager. After finishing she exasperatingly tried to express something to me. She made an invisible box in the air and pointed to herself. And what was that supposed to mean...I asked her if she wanted to come to the center, she nodded her head wildly. As we approached the center, she expressed herself more clearly, and told me that a year ago a man gave her a contact card to Mesto Zion, she had desperately wanted to come to the center but lost the card and never found anyone else she could get the address from. Every week Vikotira would come to hear lectures. On one occasion, she told Mirka that her meeting with Jeong Oon and I wasn't coincidence, but that it was by God. Many great things happened to many of my contacts, what struck me as the greatest surprise was what happened on the last day of my forty day condition. I was doing a forty-day prayer/DP reading condition for witnessing. On the fortieth, low and behold, Pavol returned. I could not believe he decided to come back to the CARP center after not having shown his face around for a month. Mirka, Parmy, and I thought he would never come back, but he came back with a mind of positivity. He showed interest in hearing more lectures. At the same time, Pavols 'girlfriend,' Eva, met with me that day. She looked at the world with clear eyes and for the first time with benevolence of some kind. Also, on the last day a great mistake was revealed to me. For two weeks I thought I had been calling the Serbian Katarina who was sick in bed. Every time I called, she was busy and asked me to call back. On one occasion I left a long message saying: "thank you Katarina for all your support, I hope you get well soon, I heard from your Jana and Elizabeth (her two friends who have attended every cultural evening) that you're taking your cast off soon. It would be great if Lisi and I could visit you before we leave to Albania. Please get better. Bye!" I also have another contact named Katarina from Zvolen, Slovakia. On many occasions, Lisi and I set up meetings, but she never showed up. She always had some sort of test or meeting to go to. We decided not to call her anymore. In my contacts book both Katarinas names were in the same column, one after the other. One day, Lisi and I had a meeting with the Katarina from Serbia. She told us to call before we came. Lisi asked me for her number. I gave out the number, as Lisi called her. "Hi Katarina! where are you? " exclaimed Lisi. "Zvolen," said Katarina as bells rang in the background. Lisi quickly leaned over in shock. "Zvolen?" Lisi asked, shocked.

Suddenly she realized it was not the Serbian Katarina but the Katarina from Zvolen.

Lisi and I had vowed not to make any appointments, but were left to wonder what we should do as Katarina asked Lisi when we should meet together. Lisi didn't want to say 'no' to her, and made an appointment.

Lisi came off the phone shocked, and at the moment, I knew I was calling the wrong Katarina for several weeks. What about that long message I left on her machine? How embarrassing!! We never thought we would call her again, but it turns out the call was meant to be. She finally met Lisi and according to Lisi, they had "a great time!!" And so one of our 'no hope' contacts were at the top of our lists again.

Many of my contacts have showed me so much about myself, and how many people out there are doing so much for the betterment of humankind (sounds cliché). Witnessing in Slovakia would not have been more valuable and life changing.

I cannot end this reflection without mentioning Albania. I am thankful I could end my year on ETF in Albania. Being exposed to a different culture and having to live in underdeveloped conditions of toilet holes and water shutdowns, says a lot in itself. It was undoubtedly humbling and 'made me think' about materialism and class disorder. I could see how power hungry officials controlled people and brought no growth or inspiration to the community. It was saddening to see no desire by the people to change anything for they no it would only result in the same situation of dominance. The greatest shock in Albania was seeing a young boy, about the age of seven being beaten by several boys with big wooden sticks. The boy screamed in pain, his face contorted; crying for help. It was Good Friday, and no one had the decency to do anything!! Not like I could expect a country where wars ravaged on for centuries and people had a different view on life. But of all things, it was a day that represented Jesus, and why be a Christian if you cannot even be a good Samaritan. It could be seen in the external appearance and development of Albania that it would not progress as long as the people had no desire to change things. Some people had told me it was such bad ending my year in Albania with the what had happened with the stolen items and the Albania (Western Europeans stayed in her room during the IRFF project) saga... While everyone in the room was packing, many people noticed their belongings were missing. As each person announced they were missing something, we decided to compile a list. Several people decided to go to the headmaster of the school and report the incident. After much investigation and questioning on campus, there were no leads. No one wanted to speculate it was Albania, as it could have been anyone. Several people decided to contact Albania if she could help us out with the situation. The police were sent to her home where she was questioned and it was soon realized that Albania was the culprit. She was reluctant to give up many of our belongings, and only returned a number of items. The police returned to the dorm at midnight and showed us what Albania had given up. Only some items were recovered, I could not believe she returned my deodorant covered with brown crust! Two of her friends were also convicted. Albania and her friends were ordered to spend time in jail for an estimated one to three years in jail. Her friends cried as they were locked up. There was shame written all over the place. People could not believe what had happened, especially since IRFF had made a substantial contribution to Vlora. ETF and some others decided to write up a petition to the police to reduce the jail time for Albania, hopefully it was granted. What was so bizarre, was that Albania had tried to gain everyone's trust, she warned some people to lock their suitcases, and treated others to ice cream and so on. It was devastating to see a college education and life wasted on a petty act; to know that she can never return back to school. I felt there was a clear reason for me to end in Albania. There was so much for me to learn and to understand about other nations and cultures. I had spent the year in search of expanding my perspective and understanding people to a deeper level. A lot of what happened on ETF has a lot to do with what I see as my future providential career.

As I look back on ETF, I can say it has been at the top of my list of the best experiences in my life. I hope in the near future, ETF can have reunions and we can help build a strong foundation for CARP on a worldwide level on Gods Will; uniting young people on a common purpose. Take a second look at the world around you, deeply, and see that there is something great to achieve in life.

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