My name is M, with my spouse we are preparing for family life (next month). We are both, "inexperienced". There are some questions regarding which I am ashamed to ask central persons directly, questions about family life. Also our country is missing a meaningful family department and so answers from elders are absolutely not unified!
Love relations (bed)
love positions: some say that positions from back are not permitted (Satan’s style), some say it is OK.
and some totally "rebelistic question" - anal sex (I and my spouse don’t think about it, but some friends from another religion are asking and we are not sure)
what do you think about the condition from father that husband and wife should sleep naked? My spouse cannot imagine this (it would be too cold)
Shaving: some parts - especially for women underarms
Thank you once again,
Congratulations to you both, you are now starting yourfamily life. It is a very glorious moment and great joy should fillyour heart. Be assured that God’s heart is filled with great joy andexpectation each time a blessed couple starts their family life.Remember, He has been waiting for this moment for a very, very longtime. The challenges that you are facing this day may lookinsurmountable to you, but some day looking back over the history ofyour life, they will just become insignificant details.
Love making: Firstof all, you need to separate the “three-day ceremony” with the rest ofyour conjugal life. During the “Three-day ceremony” there are certainthings you need to observe, because this ceremony has a very importantsignificance in the restoration process. You should have been givendetailed information about how to proceed during the three-day ceremonyby your pastor in your area. Once the Three-day ceremony is over, thereshould not be any limitation on how to express your love to each other.
NOTE: The "Three-day ceremony" only pertains to 1st generation couple, not 2nd generation.
Your relationship to God and to one another, will guide you in findingthe best way to express your love. Remember that everything in God’screation, and that includes love making, has to go through a growthprocess. Do not expect to be perfect and have the very best ofrelationship the first time around. You and your husband will have tolearn each other. You will find that some things make you comfortableand some others do not. You will be able to sense if your husband isuncomfortable or comfortable with certain behaviors. Remember also,that the relationships between you, and as a couple with God, areunique. Therefore someone else’s experience with love making does notnecessarily apply to you and what you might experience as a couple. Thebottom line is this, are you loving each other for your own sake alone,or for returning love to God? Every time you make love, invite God inyour midst; let Him feel your love, allow Him to be involved in thecreation of a new life.
I would advise you not to seek too much guidance from inexperiencedcouples, especially couples who do not have any understanding of TheDivine Principle, (even if they have been married for a long time).However, there are some books about conjugal love that have beenwritten by professionals who are also religious people. You will findthese books helpful in understanding lovemaking. I have included in myanswer to you several links that should be worth looking into.
Even though I will not give you specifics on certain items, I wouldlike to expound a little bit on True Father’s comments about “sleepingnaked”. True Father speaks at the cosmic level. When True Fatherspeaks, not just the people in the room are listening but a myriad ofspirits are also listening and True Father also knows that his wordswill be distributed at lightning speed to all our membership throughoutthe world. Plus, his words will also be made public to everyone else.True Father does not put any limitation on his words. They have to bespoken, even if they are not understood at all, (and perhaps even ifthey might be misunderstood). If True Father was speaking to aparticular individual for that individual’s sake only, his words mightbe very different because his sole concern would be for that person. Sohe would therefore tailor his guidance to that individual’s needs.
Now, to come back to “sleeping naked”. If it is too cold to do so, byall means wear clothes. It is very possible that at some point in yourintimacy with your husband you will generate so much heat that youwould want to take all your clothes off any way. “Sleeping naked” isnot a law to be followed, it is a loving guidance from our True Fatherto be understood.
That is all for now. Do not be afraid to ask again,
Please take good care of each other,
www.unification.net/bif/ This link will give you multiple speeches of True Father regarding the blessing. It is titled, “Blessing and Ideal Family”.
www.familyfed.org/bfd/book-list_hw_relations.htm. This one is a list of recommended readings for couples posted on the Blessed Family Department website of the USA.
groups.yahoo.com/group/unification-texts/message/46. This link is a yahoo-group created by a member of the FamilyFederation: Damian Anderson. You will find a lot of good informationthere. This particular link is a speech given by our True Father on“Preparation for Blessing (II)”. You will find that same information on www.unification.net/1978/780520_2.html.