Dear Anne-Marie,

Hi, I plan to start an abstinence group on my college campus where I'm currently a student. I plan to model, in terms of functionality and programs/event as the bioethics meetings. (Discuss articles, topics...). Hopefully invite guest speakers on the subject of healthy relationships.

I've seen enough of what the misuse of love can do to a people and families.

My school is very liberal, though seems to have a Christian presence (bible study groups). I figure it's better to just get to the point rather than go through the entire bible 'study' program.

Any advice..? Or has anyone had success on other campus, not including CARP?

College student



Dear College Student,


I encourage your initiative to create an abstinence group on your campus.  I may not be the best person to give advice as I never had to face that kind of challenge when I was your age.  However my life experience has taught me that it is not enough to tell someone not to do something, we must explain why, and the explanation better be to today's standard of information or it will not take hold.


With today's multi media available, it may be possible for you to develop some kind of attractive presentation that will explain in a nutshell the consequences of the fall.  There are applications such as PowerPoint and third party online applications that might be of use to you in getting your discussions sessions started (e.g., ).


Regardless of how you make your initial presentation, your idea of Bioethics Meetings sounds unique and brings the topics into an arena of discussions that requires both intellect and some knowledge/appreciation of ethical behavior.  I think that such a forum will hopefully attract a wide variety of individuals, including those who may not have any religious inclinations but who do have a genuine interest in the topic.  I would very much like to know your outcome of this activity.


Your idea of bringing in guest speakers sounds good too.  I would suggest that if at all possible you find a way to digitally video their presentations, or at least take some pictures and have good notes.  Later on you may be able to put pieces together from the best speakers and offer your methods or presentation to others.


One thing for sure: The "Please don't have sex, it is not safe" will not work, or the "Please don't have sex, because God said so" will not work either on most people.  I think that after a few of your sessions you can be advising me what works and if I can help to spread the message I will.


By the way, my personal approach to saying "no" is not the word "no" but the words: "Yes, but...."  Religions in the past have portrayed the act of marriage as a necessary but evil thing, not to be talked about and better to be done in the dark.  True Father has spoken about the act of marriage with much more honesty, passion, and I will add even reverence.  There is absolutely nothing to be ashamed of in performing the act of marriage with God's blessing.  That is, to me, the first point for the general population to understand. 


Then we must help them understand why it must be done only after certain conditions are met. To explain that I would use a twofold approach.  One, I will explain what would have happened to Adam and Eve if they had been able to withstand the temptation and go directly to God for advice.  Second, because of the fall, the process of being permitted to fulfill the act of love now requires the blessing of the Messiah.  That is the difference between before the fall and after the fall.


There is no one on this earth, except for our True Father who can explain with such clarity the consequences of the fall.  That understanding cannot be absorbed with just a couple of lectures but hopefully enough can be understood to gain the patience necessary to wait and first seek a deeper understanding of God and his Principles.


Love is a powerful force and should remain so.  The act of marriage is only a small percent of what that force is.  If we, as individual, are able to comprehend what absolute Love is, abstinence before marriage with God's blessing is possible.


Please keep me posted on how you are doing,

Take care,