Question:

Dear Anne-Marie,

I'm from Europe and 36 years old. My husband and I have been together for two years. We long to become parents but I didn't become pregnant yet. The results of the medical check ups of both of us are good and I have been to Cheong Pyeong last summer. I know couples who adopted children, but how can you ask another couple to do this? I cannot simply put an ad on the internet as it is such a sensitive matter. I feel a bit helpless.

Some tell us to wait (also our national leader) , but in the country where we live there is an age limit for couples who want to adopt and we are already close to this age.

We read books and I also went to a doctor for traditional Chinese medicine. She told me that my body is not warm enough and my whole system is low (low blood pressure, always tired etc.). She gave me some teas and told me to take warm baths. As we only have a shower I take footbaths. I have been doing this now for 9 months, but stopped with the teas recently as they are very expensive and I don't feel any effect on my body.

Thank you already in advance for your answer
Desperate Mom to be
 

Reply:

Dear Desperate Mom to be,

 

Thank you for your enquiry.  If you have checked both western and eastern doctors and both, in their different ways have not found anything drastically wrong with your couple, then I would check with the Blessing Family Department.  Their web site have a page that deals with adoptions, here it is: www.familyfed.org/bfd/adoption.htm.  However you mentioned low blood pressure and always being tired, you may want to check that further if you have not done so yet.

 

On another level I would suggest that you and your husband relax about this matter and leave it up to God.  The more you get uptight about it, the more difficult it is going to be for you to get pregnant.  When you have done all you can do, it is not up to you any longer.

 

If it is at all possible, after the act of marriage, please relax in bed.  Do not get up for at least hour.  Put a pillow under your back to keep your pelvic area on a slight slant upward.

 

Please keep me posted on how you are doing,

Take care,

Sincerely,

Anne-Marie