True Love and Forbidden Love
by Jesus Gonzales Losada
Chapter 1 - Love And Life
Love Is The Supreme Value
What do we value most in life? What makes us happy? Some will say "money and wealth." Others will respond without doubt: "Wisdom and knowledge." Some others again may suggest: "Power, position and fame." Are money, wealth, knowledge, power and fame then the most important things in our lives?
When we face this question seriously, other thoughts may arise. There is no doubt that we all seek for wealth, knowledge, power and fame, which although valuable, in themselves are not the source of our happiness. Someone could have all the wealth in the world, as well as knowledge but, if obliged to live in isolation, such a person would not be happy. Goals such as money, wealth, knowledge, power and fame, only have meaning and value when they are shared or used for the benefit of others.
We are happy when we can share our position, wealth, knowledge or anything of value that we possess, with other people. If someone would offer you billions of dollars, as well as knowledge and power in exchange for your loving spouse, parents or children, would you sell them? Would you be happy afterwards? Only when we have harmonious relationships of true love with others, can experience the greatest happiness.
Consequently, happiness requires a relationship with someone and this is true as much for God as for man. Therefore, we have to come to the conclusion that what is most precious in life, is love. No amount of money, power or knowledge can ever match the infinite power of true love. It does not matter how long we live: our biological existence does not have value unless we experience love.
When we observe our universe, we realize that each being exists through the union of a pair of elements. That is true on all levels, starting even from the mineral kingdom. Atoms and molecules are formed by the union of a positive and negative element. In plants, existence and reproduction requires the union of stamen and pistil, which represent the masculine and feminine aspects.
The system of pairs is even more obvious in the animal kingdom. Fish, birds, mammals and other animals exist as male and female and human beings exist as men and women.
Why does this system of pairs exist? Was there ever, throughout history, any man who planned to create himself and his descendants as masculine, with all his organs and characteristics, and a feminine complement, to form a home and procreate? Did any woman plan it? Of course not. Who did so? It is reasonable to admit that it would have to be the original Creator, the first to think, plan and design, who created us as man and woman for the purpose of consummating a union in love.
The Creator divided all things into masculine and feminine so that they could unite and multiply through the giving and receiving of love. God created everything with a reciprocal partner so that all levels of creation would experience joy and love. Through the action of love, each species multiplies and extends its lineage.
The concept of love was first in God's mind and only afterwards did He create man and woman. Man and woman could only find true love through each other.
Do we men and women live for the purpose of eating three times a day and sleeping eight hours every night? Certainly not. We live for the ecstasy and the fulfillment of love. This is the way God created us.
God is the first personality and the human personality originates from God. This is why men and women are willing to sacrifice their own lives for the benefit of the ones they love.
The word "sacred" should be connected to love; only in the context of love has the word "sacred" any meaning. For example, any husband who is capable of sacrificing for the well-being of his wife is a sacred husband, and vice versa. A person who is willing to die for his or her parents is a child of filial piety, a sacred son or daughter. The person who gives his or her life for the well-being or benefit of humanity is a saint.
Love is the supreme value. Love does not exist for myself, but for others. True love begins when we sacrifice ourselves and live for the purpose of loving others. True love is altruistic or unselfish, giving constantly for the benefit of others, forgetting all that was given. If you consciously remember what you have given, then you will begin to calculate how much giving is enough. And if you decide that you have given enough, then love cannot continue eternally. True love is the act of giving without the condition of receiving.
We should all surrender before this true love. True love has power and domain over everything, only true love transcends all barriers. To call something true, it should contain four characteristics: it should be unique, eternal, unchanging and absolute.
Love And The Purpose Of Life
God's eternal and unchanging ideal is the creation of a world of love, peace and happiness for all humanity. "Heart" is the most important and at the core of all the attributes that exist in the Divine character. We could define "heart" as the emotional impulse to experience happiness through love. In the heart of God there is an unrestrained emotional force and desire to love. This is the reason why religious people say that God is love, because love originates in God. (I John 4:7-8)
Love can only exist when we love someone or someone loves us. God needed to create humanity to communicate His love. It is for the sake of love that human beings are the supreme creation.
An ideal needs to be shared with someone. This was the profound reason which motivated God to create mankind, whom He created in His image and likeness as the visible manifestation of His invisible characteristics, as objects of His love, in the position of His children, to be the source of His happiness and to share His creativity.
God created the physical and the spiritual world as the environment and object of enjoyment for humanity. If we were able to become one with God in true love, we could have dominion over God's creation, both the physical as well as the spiritual world.
True love contains the three great attributes of "inheritance," "participation," and "equality." For example, if a poor woman who did not have the means to get an education, is married to the president, and they are a loving couple, then what belongs to the husband belongs to the wife. She has the right to participate in her husband's interests and because they love each other more than themselves, they are equal in value.
When we live our lives completely for others, we reach gradually the same essence and characteristics of God. The vibrations of God are converted in our vibrations and God's feelings are transmitted to us naturally. Living in this manner, we become a resonant body of God's heart and love. This is the state of perfection which God wants us to reach and it is for that purpose that He originally created us.
In order to carry out such purpose, God created man and woman so that they could first grow and reach their individual maturity and perfection. Ultimately, with His blessing they would unite intoxicated in love, establishing an eternal couple and becoming True Parents for their children, transmitting to them physical and spiritual life. (This ideal is expressed in Genesis 1:28.)
The purpose of our existence is to first realize this ideal of true love and eternal happiness in the family, after which it will naturally be extended to the society, nation and world.
From all the existing institutions or many others that can be created, the family is the first and most important, having God as its very founder. The family is the fundamental unit of society. If we can not establish this ideal in our homes, there will be no hope of creating an ideal society, nation or ideal world. (See diagram #1)
The family is the school of love and the ideal place where the love of God is seen expressed in human relationships.
Throughout history, numerous viewpoints addressing life, the universe and God have presented unresolved problems. The solution to those problems will be found when a true man and a true woman unite with God in true love, creating an absolute unit, due to the fact that this is God's original purpose and the source of absolute value.
If we observe adolescents, we can see that they are preparing themselves physically and spiritually for the experience of love. They are usually very romantic, idealistic, sensitive and passionate. These are the signs that they are opening themselves to the complete sensation of love, in body, mind and spirit. They are like a blossom before opening. The sweetness is kept inside. Therefore, before they can be blessed in marriage they should be like a bud, very closed, keeping in this way the fragrance and sweetness in the core of their being. Chastity and purity are the most valuable virtues in life. These are the hope and guarantee of the successful fulfillment of true, unchangeable and eternal love. This is the divine principle.
God created man for the sake of woman and woman for the sake of man. So we can say that from the moment a person is born he or she was born for his or her mate. Man and woman are the substantial manifestations of the masculine and feminine characteristics which come from God. They are like energy accumulators, loading energy originating from God, but of an opposite polarity. It is as if some kind of electricity is generated between man and woman, such as between the positive and negative pole of an electric circuit which, once connected, causes electricity to flow; God would generate more and more voltage between them, creating an enormous spark and explosion like a fireball of love. That spark means unity and creativity.
When love is produced between a man and a woman, a kind of magnetic field is generated flowing from God. Therefore, all creation is like a love machine. God created human beings to be the internal part of the machine, while the universe is the external part. Both parts vibrate, united with the same wavelength of love.
Where are man and woman finally connected for the consummation of their love? Through their sexual organs. The man's organs of love, as well as the woman's, are located in the center of the body, where all the nervous systems are concentrated. God put them in a protected place, like a hidden construction.
These organs, if man had not been degraded in the beginning, should in the last instance be connected to their center of energy, which is God. The sexual organs should originally be the palaces of God's love. They were supposed to be the most important and sacred places, through which love is consummated, life created and lineage transmitted.
Only husband and wife have the access key in order to open those sacred places for the consummation of heavenly love. The act of love is meant to be a husband and wife's most holy possession and should never be defiled by allowing a stranger to enter and corrupt it. This is the only correct way to understand the relationship between husband and wife. Once a man and a woman find their true love, it is something permanent and eternal and an alternative love could not exist.
Men and women's definite stimulus and realization are those of true love, nothing better exists. It is like the anchor of life. When a husband and wife's love consummate at this sacred level, God is living with them at every moment. Once anchored in the heart of God, husband and wife could feel totally satisfied and fulfilled forever.
The love of our parents is the origin of our physical and spiritual life and transmits the blood lineage. Love, life and lineage are connected with the sexual organs. The linkage of love, life and lineage is what gives history its continuity.
That is why, the act of love should be the most precious, beautiful and sacred act of our life. But, in spite of that, it is very shocking to discover that constantly throughout human history, the sexual organs and the act of love have been seen as something dirty and shameful. It is also symptomatic that most languages frequently use the most obscene and vulgar words to describe the sexual organs and the act of love.
Although adultery is the biggest imaginable betrayal against true love, we nevertheless see this problem unfortunately repeated in all types of environments and cultures through the ages, as well as the fact that prostitution degrades sex to a mere commodity.
These are clear reasons which prove that something terribly abnormal and wrong exists in human conduct in relation to love and its sexual expression. It also reveals to us, as we will see later on, that human beings deviated in their origin and were degraded by taking a false direction in matters of love.
The sexual impulse is the most powerful inner force. If we are not able to control, conquer and use it in the correct direction, then this sexual drive will be the very force that will conquer, dominate and eventually destroy us.
This is the reason why it has been so difficult for people to overcome the desire for illicit love. All the greatest religions in history have dealt with overcoming this particular problem and this is why they all acknowledged adultery and fornication as the worst sin. In many cases, a life of celibacy was even promoted and encouraged as the means of purification and attaining the highest dimension of the love of God. In this manner, a clear distinction is drawn between the divine, heavenly and original love that they desire to reach and the degraded and corrupt level of the worldly love which we see around us.
Love is the greatest and most powerful force in the universe and the source of life and happiness. The act of love is destined to be, according to the divine principle, the most beautiful, sacred and sublime experience. But, if this act is carried out in an illicit way it becomes the dirtiest, most degraded and shameful experience. Therefore, illicit or forbidden love is also a very destructive force that causes enormous frustrations, disappointments and suffering.
An analogy can be made between the power of atomic energy on the physical level and the power of love on the spiritual level. If atomic energy is used properly, it is an unimaginable source of prosperity and progress, but if it is wrongly used, it becomes the most destructive force. In the same way, when love is experienced in the correct direction, it gives us the greatest imaginable happiness, peace and harmony, but if it is experienced in a wrong direction it results in the most tragic consequences, causing huge pain and suffering. (See diagram # 2)
The Tragic Results Of The Wrong Use Of Love.
Sexual corruption has caused the fall of important and famous people, nations and empires throughout human history.
The previous statement contains a very ancient and implacable wisdom. From the very early times, sages, prophets and people shared the belief that sooner or later uncontrolled sexual conduct would be a serious offence against the gods and would bring misfortune in the form of decadence and self destruction. In the Bible it is written that the cities of Sodom and Gomorrah were destroyed because the people who lived there led a very immoral life.
Modern investigations corroborate this belief. Arnold Toynbee, one of the most prominent modern historians, writes: "Out of twenty-one of the most notable civilizations in history, nineteen perished not by having been conquered, but because of internal decadence." Another historian, doctor J. D. Unwin from Cambridge University, who made a study of eighty civilizations that existed over a period of four thousand years, came to the conclusion that those civilizations who chose sexual promiscuity, degenerated, but those who exercised sexual discipline, created prosperity. Sigmund Freud, the founder of psychoanalysis, expressed: "I could say over and over again - because I was never able to prove otherwise - that sexuality is the key to disclose the problem of psychoneurosis and neurosis in general." (Three Essays on the Theory of Sexuality)
The Roman Empire managed to become incredibly strong and powerful in its time but eventually collapsed, not because of a formidable invading external army, but due to internal decadence that made it weak and vulnerable. From the emperors to the common people, many indulged in a hedonistic and lustful life. When archaeologists discovered the ruins of the city of Pompeii in Italy, which was caught by surprise and buried by the eruption of Mt. Vesuvius, they were able to reconstruct scenes of the life at the moment of the eruption which corroborated that the life style of its inhabitants was lustful, licentious and immoral.
In the light of what has been expressed previously, the idea that sex is no more then a simple biological necessity, an appetite that one must satisfy, like drinking "a glass of water" when one is thirsty, is totally mistaken. And it is sustained by the erroneous understanding of many that man is just an evolved and rational animal, which is trying to completely negate man's spiritual and divine dimension.
We need to eat, drink, sleep, have clothes and shelter for our individual survival. Sexual activity is necessary from the biological point of view for the procreation of our species, but not in order to maintain our individual physical existence. The sexual act is not merely a physical function, sex is interpersonal and affects another person directly. As we have already seen, its true purpose is bound to be the inseparable expression of true love.
If we have any doubts about this, we should check what happened in Russia during the first years of the revolution. In the beginning, deliberate attacks were made against marriage and the family. Divorce could be obtained for any reason and at any moment. Abortion was legal and facilitated. Premarital relationships were favored. Sexual relationships outside marriage were viewed as normal. What happened? According to Professor Sorokin of Harvard University, after a few years, hordes of savage boys and girls without home were a real threat to the country. Millions of lives, especially girls', were destroyed, divorce and abortion reached unheard of limits. Hatred and conflicts produced by the polygamy and polyandry increased rapidly as did psychoneurosis. Work at the nationalized factories was neglected. The results were so alarming that the government was obliged to reverse its policies. The propaganda of the "glass of water" was declared contrary to the revolution and in its place an official glorification of chastity and of the sanctity of marriage was installed. In other words, the Russians discovered the reality that sex, regarded as an appetite, ruined not only the individual, but also rapidly the state itself.
Harmony and social stability begin, naturally, with the harmony and stability at home. It is a very common observation that the family is the moral foundation of society, therefore, the ethical and moral standard of a nation is a reflection of the moral standard of its families.
We need affection and love for our internal growth just as we need physical nourishment for our body. When a youngster does not receive adequate nourishment when growing up, the body will suffer rickets, malnutrition and other problems which will affect its formation. The same occurs when we do not receive love, attention and the necessary care and affection from our parents at home: it results in limitations, complexities and other problems which eventually affect our character and adult behavior.
Numerous statistical and sociological investigations demonstrate that many delinquents and criminals come from disintegrated homes and that most of the problems of alcoholism, drug addiction and violence are linked to the distortion or lack of love received at home. At the present time, many problems can gradually be solved by the advance of science, technology and the employment of new and more advanced political, social and economic systems. But, despite the magnitude of these advances, it seems that the more a country develops the less capable it is of recognizing and controlling sexual immorality, adultery and all the sexually related crimes.
Such acts are normally being carried out in privacy and secretly. This is a problem that neither laws, pills, technology, nor the current contemporary methods of sexual education are capable of resolving.
Unfortunately many of the modern programs of sexual education for the young, have been converted into purely genital information, focusing only on the biological, medical and hygienic aspects of sex, with a range of details about all kinds of possible methods and devices to avoid pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases.
The result of this type of education, devoid of ethical and moral values and without a deepening of the true and sacred value of love and its sexual expression, has been to rather increase the problem than to assist in its solution.
These methods, instead of emphasizing the value of chastity and a serious preparation for true love and marriage, have served in many cases as an open invitation to a premature sexual experience, fomenting the attitude that sex is a mere biological necessity and that the repercussions only constitute a problem if the appropriate measures are not taken.
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