40 Years in America
Mr. Kamiyama’s Diary
From Mr. Kamiyama’s diary in Danbury Prison
August 20, Monday, 5:30 a.m.: Father and I went into the kitchen; outside it was still dark. After we finished all the preparations for breakfast, we waited outside the building until all the inmates had finished their meal. The time for breakfast is 6 to 7 a.m. After that we would do the cleanup. During the time that we waited outside the prison building, Father and I would have conversations about many different topics, especially about the world of God and the world of love.
On this particular morning when Father spoke about the world of God, I felt God’s love with my whole body. Then I saw the morning sun. It looked so beautiful, truly beautiful; then the autumn wind began to blow and I felt chilly. As he looked at the far distant sky, Father said this winter would become very cold. Then, shifting his eyes towards the East he said, "Now they must be harvesting halibut in Alaska."
Then Father started speaking very deeply about his thoughts and feelings about prison: "The person who is in the highest position has to go down to the lowest position and then serve all the way through. That is the true way."
"Similarly, a diamond is the result of coal transformed under great pressure. The diamond is the highest and most valuable of all stones, and yet it corresponds to coal, which is the lowest and most crude. So in a sense diamonds and coal are actually close relatives."
September 14th, Friday: Father sat with his legs crossed, and quietly rotated his body about while deeply communicating with nature. At such times he is looking at the past, present and future. His posture is so mystical, so mysterious. I cannot translate it into words because it’s beyond description.
I felt that between Father and nature there a special relationship or special communication that we do not comprehend -- something very profound.
• Father practices love based on forgiveness in the midst of insults and contempt. Because the inmates don’t know anything about Father’s value, they say, "Hey, Moon!" or utter other kinds of insults that shouldn’t even be forgiven. But Father puts himself in the position of servant of servants and forgives all this with love. I have witnessed this.
• I saw that Father digests and dominates the circumstances and his environment with patience, in order to bring victory in his position. Knowing his position as the center of indemnity, he still acts as a servant of love and controls that dirty prison environment in order to bring victory on the worldwide and universal levels.
• I saw that Father denies himself completely each day for the sake of the future. He said, "Self-denial cannot be self-denial all the way." Self-denial means that you lose yourself; but actually the purpose of self-denial is to bring victory. Father is such a self-denying person.
• I saw that Father turns everything into appreciation and gratitude, thinking that this particular period is an indemnity period. Therefore, even though Father is in an environment where he could complain constantly, he doesn’t say even one word of complaint.
For example, Father’s prison bed is really junk. If you move it even one inch, it squeaks. Also, there is no wood inside to give support; it’s all just wires. I wondered if Father would say something like, "It’s very bad for your back," but he didn’t say a word. Instead he fixed the problem by putting newspapers in to level himself.
• I saw that Father finds the most dirty work that no one wants to do, and carries it out. That is our Father. Many times I tried to take a job away from Father and do it myself, but he pushed me away and said, "No, I must do it! This is my job!" For example, after people scrubbed and mopped the floor, they would push all the dirt into one corner and leave it there. Then Father would take care of it. Also, whenever people did any cleaning in the kitchen, they would just put the mop or the dirty towels in a bucket and let them pile up. Father would pick up these smelly towels, clean them, and put them into a nice, straight pile.
People would use them to clean up again, and just throw them back into the bucket. Then Father would repeat the same process all over again.
• Father meditates all the time, and quietly, as I described before.
• Father makes his own goals, and sets up the environment to fulfill them. I can see him preparing for the future. He’s studying Spanish very hard, for South America and all the Spanish-speaking people. According to Mormon prediction and prophecy, the Messiah must come to both North and South America.
• Father serves Cain all the way; he’s an expert in that principle. Sometimes I had to rush to work and just left my bed a complete mess. When I came back later on, Father himself had already straightened up everything. I was so surprised! Father did that many times. And again, whenever I tried to fix Father’s bed, he wouldn’t let me, saying, "No, no!"
I came out of jail on December 4th. On that day, when I was about to leave prison, Father himself started to tie my shoes. I said, "Oh, I will do it myself!" But Father said, "No! This is the way to do it," and he himself sat down and tied my shoes. I was so shocked.
• I witnessed a man of love and deep compassion. He is personally interested in people’s lives. He would ask the inmates: "How are your wife and your children? How is your family life?" etc. He also asked each of them, "Why did you come to this prison? How are you doing?" Father spoke in English and he wanted to know all the details. When Father discovered people’s circumstances, he felt sorry and sympathetic towards them. Once Father even suggested to me, "Maybe we should help this man hire a lawyer again, and get him another trial and another chance for justice."
• I have known Father personally for twelve years, but for the first time I discovered that Father’s love for Mother is very deep. Father has many tender feelings for Mother.
When he would wait for the moment that he could talk with Mother on the phone, he was sometimes very shy, like a boy who is longing and deeply in love. So he would say over the phone, "Omma, Mammi, Mammi, good morning!" Sometimes he seemed to be freshly in love. Their relationship is so beautiful.
By the way, one of the instructions I got from Father before I came out jail was to teach members to express the love between husband and wife more openly. As a Japanese I would never kiss my wife in front of people. So when my wife visited me in prison, Father pushed me: "Go ahead, kiss your wife!" I had no other choice but to do it. When Father would meet Mother in the visiting room, he would also kiss her. They have such a natural, beautiful relationship.
• In order to attend pledge service, Father always purifies his body, takes a shower and puts on clean underwear and socks. Even if it were Sunday and the next day was the first of the month, he would again purify his body and present himself to God in pledge.
• No matter what, under any circumstances, Father would still witness and teach people around him.
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